Friday, May 09, 2008

Lost: Jacob's Cabin Un-Locke-d

ATTENTION: LOST SPOILER ALERT WARNING

So ... I finally got to watch last night's ep of Lost (which I was really hoping I'd get to see on my Jet Blue plane ride but was unable to since the airline's Direct TV schedule does not air ABC) which seemed especially chock full of OMGs and WTFs ... just the way I like it. This ep didn't have any flash forwards (tho there was one bit that featured a bit of time loop) but, instead, returned to the flashback convention we all know and love (in fact, the opening flashback went back before one of the character's was even born). It was a John Locke centric-ep ... and just when we thought we know all there was to know about the man, we learn a whole lot more:


Okay, so we learned that John was born of an unplanned pregnancy to a woman named Emily (John's a-hole father didn't make an appearance in the ep but we know allll about him now, don't we?) and managed to survive his mother getting hit by a car while she carried him in the womb and, according to his nurses, also survived infections and pneumonia -- to the point that he was referred to as a "miracle baby". Later on in life, we know that John survived being thrown out of a 30-story window (you recall that his father was the one who shoved him out on to the pavement) as well as surviving the Oceanic 815 plane crash -- is he unbreakable just like Bruce Willis in the M. Night Shyamalan movie? That's hard to tell ... his guidance counselor in school told him that he can't be a "superhero" (or a quarterback or a prom king) so it's questionable. BUT, I'm getting ahead of myself. John got put up for adoption and was almost taken away by the Dharma Initiative at the age of 5 by the same ageless man who helped Ben Linus kill all the Dharmas on the island (just how old is that guy?). He liked that Ben could draw the smoke monster but didn't like John's affinity for knives. Interesting. It was also interesting that on the island, in the "present", John ran into Horace (Dharma mathematician), the man who built Jacob's cabin ... with all these dead people running around, it's hard to tell who's who. There was another dead guy cameo at the end of the ep ... but we'll get there in a sec. In one of the flashbacks, Locke met a guy who looked a lot like the Haitian dude on Heroes, who told him that he needed to go on a "walkabout" in Australia, with only a "knife and his wits" in order to find himself. Again with the knife. HMMM. Back on the ship, Martin Keemy showed us that he's a bad man who will stop at nothing to do Charles Widmore's bidding (he also showed us his buff bod, but that's beside the point). We saw how the ship's doctor got his neck slit ... which happened after his body washed up on the island's shore -- time discrepancy ... which I'm sure will be explained soon. Keemy gets something strapped to his bicep which looks like bad news for the islanders and shoots the ship's captain (who turned out to be an OK dude after all). The showdown is coming, prolly next week. The big shocker at the end of the ep was that Locke found the cabin (actually, Hurley found the cabin for Locke) and ran into the very dead Christian Shephard inside -- who is authorized to "speak" for Jacob. ANNNNND, he had the (I'm assuming) very much-alive Claire with him. She looked weird, like she was okay with hanging out with her dead dad over her alive son (Pink reader Jessica suggests that Claire may have died in the explosion ... which I hadn't considered but it entirely possible -- Pink reader Anne suggests that Christian isn't really dead, that he can zap around the world like Ben can). I believe that Christian told Locke how to save the island but we didn't get to hear what he said ... all Locke would reveal is that they need to "move the island" (presumably off course of the "exact heading of 305" which is the only way to find the island). Again, I ask WTF? So much confusing stuff going on ... I fear we won't get enough answers over the next, final 2 eps to satisfy our cravings ... but I'm hoping we do. The previews for next week seem to show the survivors getting off the island -- but it is the first of a 2-part season finale ... I'm sure there is still a lot of stuff to get thru before all of that happens. [Source]

Nick Hogan Sentenced To 8 Months In The Slammer

TMZ, who has been live-streaming today's court hearing where Nick Hogan pleaded "no contest" to the felony charge of reckless driving involving serious bodily injury, is reporting that Nick has been sentenced to 5 years probation, 500 hours of community service, 3 years driver's license revocation and 8 months incarceration ... which he will have to serve starting, um, now:


Click HERE to watch the live stream (while it still airs) and read the live-blogging posts from TMZ ... but the most important updates came mere minutes ago:

UPDATE 3:47 ET: And here's the sentence ... EIGHT MONTHS IN PINELLAS COUNTY JAIL, STARTING RIGHT NOW. Nick was totally expressionless.

UPDATE 3:49 ET: And it looks like they're taking him away. No reaction at all from Nick.



People magazine just posted their report of today's proceedings and Nick's new mugshot:


Nick Bollea was sentenced to 8 months in a Florida county jail on Friday after pleading no contest to charges of felony reckless driving, stemming from the Aug. 6, 2007, car crash that left his best friend, John Graziano, in critical condition. In addition to the jail time, which begins immediately, Bollea, 17, was sentenced to 5 years probation, during which he will serve 500 hours of community service, not be allowed to drink any alcohol and have his driver's license revoked for 3 years. Bollea, dressed in a gray suit and light blue shirt and tie, looked somber as he was taken to meet the court officers. His father, Hulk Hogan (real name: Terry Bollea), stood and watched as uniformed authorities removed his son from the courtroom. Nick did not have a chance to say goodbye to his family before he was taken into custody. In delivering his sentence, the judge specifically asked that Bollea use his community service to do something positive "that reflects what John did in his service to our country as a Marine."

To be honest, he's lucky he's only getting 8 months and I won't be at all surprised if he ends up getting out early anyways. There has been no reaction from the family just yet, stay tuned ... [Source]

The TV Guide: No, Speed Racer, No

OY! I finally made it back home to LA after repeated attempts to fly out from NYC earlier this week, only to find SoCal colder and drearier than the NYC climate I just left. What gives? It's not even June yet and the June Gloom appears to have set in already. Boo. That being said, it's nice to be home again ... even if my apartment is in post-unpacking shambles.

Upon my arrival at around 10PM last night, I immediately went home, dropped off my stuff and then hit the road to meet Darion for a midnight screening of Speed Racer in IMAX (which is why blogging is slow-going today). We were both very excited for the movie and we wanted to make sure to see it on the IMAX big screen. It is my very sad duty to report that the movie is extremely disappointing ... to the point that I wouldn't even recommend it to friends:


Now, I don't really consider myself a huge Speed Racer fan but I'm pretty familiar with the cartoon and generally enjoyed watching the 'toon for its over-the-top, emotive drama and the semi-ridiculous storylines. I was hoping that the big screen, live adaptation of the cartoon would really take advantage of all the fun of the cartoon in addition to being an eye-popping wonder. Sadly, that isn't the case. The movie starts out very haphazardly, jumping from the past to the present, without any explanation ... it takes some time to even figure out what is going on -- and it gets worse from there. The storyline is SO weighed down by confusing plotlines and there is way too much talking for the movie to be all that engaging. THIS review of the movie sums up what I'm trying to convey perfectly:

Why is a film aimed at kindergarteners so dense with indigestible plotting? Why does it race past the two-hour mark? And given that the movie is itself a merchandising juggernaut (tie-ins range from McDonald's to Lego) and produced by Time Warner, isn't the rage-against-the-machine message disingenuous? And while the racing sequences themselves are as dazzling as a fit of epilepsy, why is there no sense of jeopardy? Is it because digitized back-flipping cars have no sense of physicality and are therefore no more thrilling to watch than any other random collection of gigabytes? As for the actors, they all do what they can -- as Speed's girlfriend Trixie (Christina Ricci) is best served by her nearly-3D features -- but they're working against the undertow of both the all-green-screen environment and some alarming shifts in tone, from slapstick to camp to drama. It's no wonder that by the end the storytelling gears -- and the patience of most movie-goers -- are stripped altogether.

The movie is entirely empty and not even the dazzling special effects can save it. The last straw for me was when Speed Racer uttered the line, "Keep your shit off my track". C'mon! That line came just when I thought the movie couldn't disappoint me any further.

Truth be told, I wouldn't listen to anyone urging me not to see this movie for myself ... even if a good friend warned me not to see it, I'd still see it. That being said, I really cannot recommend this movie at all. The only thing worth going to the movie for is to see Speed's older brother Rex Racer lookin' all hawt ... but be warned, I'm not talking about Matthew Fox ... I guess you'll have to see the movie to understand what I mean.

I think I'll be working all afternoon, then I have an appointment this evening and I'm hoping to see Steph and Alek before the day ends. I'll also be hoping to see the sun at some point today.

Les News: Nick Pleas, R. Kelly On Trial Again, Madonna On Team Britney

Britney Dines & Shines

Britney Spears has spent the past few weeks taking care of family matters, taking care of her fitness, taking care of her singing and acting career and taking care of her business ... which may or may not be what she was doing last night when she went out for dinner with Palms Hotel and Casino co-owner George Maloof in Beverly Hills, CA last night:


Photo credit: Splash News and X17

Britney Spears arrived for dinner date in Beverly Hills last night looking calm and surprisingly well-groomed in a sign she's slowly piecing back together her life. The usually disheveled mother-of-two polished up for a quiet night out with Las Vegas billionaire George Maloof, prompting speculation she is again working on a career revival. Along with his brothers Maloof, 43, owns the Palms Hotel and Casino in Nevada - a popular celebrity haunt - as well as the Sacramento Kings and Sacramento Monarchs basketball teams. The pair have known each other for a number of years - in fact, Britney had been partying with Maloof and friends on the now notorious night of her quickie marriage to childhood pal Jason Alexander in Vegas in 2004. As well as enjoying more time with her children Jayden James and Sean Preston following a court decision to extend her visitation rights this week, Britney is set to make a return appearance in How I Met Your Mother. In the episode, which airs in the US next week, Britney reprises her role as ditzy Abby, who is now dating serial womanizer Barney (Neil Patrick Harris) but she still seems to be longing for her other crush, Ted (Josh Radnor). Britney said: "I had such a great experience the last time I was on the show that I couldn't wait to come back. Abby is going to have a lot of fun!"

Additionally, Britney's former (and current?) manager Larry Rudolph reveals to US Weekly that Brit Brit was in the hiz last night for the live season finale of his MTV show Rock the Cradle (where children of musicians competed for a recording contract of their own) to witness one of the contestants performing her hit song, Baby ... One More Time:

Britney Spears surprised "Rock The Cradle" contestants Thursday night by unexpectedly showing up for the season finale to support her former manager and friend Larry Rudolph. "Rock The Cradle" pits aspiring pop stars, who have rock and roll in their DNA, against one another. The finale, which was broadcast on MTV, featured Jess Blaze Snider, son of Dee Snider; Crosby Loggins, son of Kenny Loggins; and Chloe Lattanzi, daughter of Olivia Newton John. Rudolph judged the competition. Spears spent the duration of the show seated backstage surrounded by security. After the show, Rudolph told usmagazine.com, "She was here to support the show. I mentioned to her that I was going to my show. She said, ‘I want to come down.’ She loved it. She really loved it. She didn't come here for publicity or anything like that. She came here because she wanted to see the show, which I appreciated." Spears headed to the show after spending the day with her two sons, Jayden James and Sean Preston. It was the first extended visit since she, along with her parents Lynne and Jamie Spears, appeared in Los Angeles County Superior Court Tuesday for a custody hearing, where she was granted extended visitation rights by Commissioner Scott Gordon.

No more late night parties with unsavory hangers-on for our dear Britney. Now she's back hanging out with billionaires making guest stints on TV shows ... just the way God intended. Woot! [Source, Source]

Survivor: Dumbest.Survivor.Ever.

ATTENTION: SURVIVOR SPOILER ALERT WARNING

Now, I don't usually blog about Survivor even tho I have, on occasion, mentioned the show or talked about winners and losers in years past but, it has been a long time since I've felt compelled to blog about any individual episode. That said, I have been watching Survivor for years now and, even tho I don't blog about it, I do enjoy watching the season after season after season. This season, a cast of Survivor favorites were pitted against a cast of fans in a showdown to see who would emerge as the ultimate Survivor -- a fan or a veteran of the show. Last night's ep (which I watched on the plane ride home from NYC) was just so unbelievably surprising that I MUST blog one little thing about the ep ...


... Erik is absolutely the dumbest Survivor in all of Survivor history. Without going into too much detail, the bottom line is that Erik (the sole remaining male contestant left in the competition) managed to escape elimination by winning individual immunity week after week foiling the plans of the remaining women contestants (all veterans of the show) who wanted to vote him off ages ago. Last night, Erik won immunity again and ended up getting talked into giving away his immunity in order to "look good" in the eyes of the jury ... instead, he was voted off immediately. Entertainment Weekly describes perfectly how things went down on last night's ep:

"You're crazy. You'll officially go down as the dumbest Survivor ever. In the history of Survivor. Ever." — Parvati

She's right, you know. He will. Erik will go down as the dumbest Survivor ever. In the history of Survivor. Ever. Step aside, Ian. Move over, James. Bow down at the altar of idiocy, Ozzy and Jason. Because Erik is your new lord and master of the moronic. He now, like Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles, is the undisputed King of the Dipshits. Who would have thunk that a collection of past players and hardcore fans would produce such a glorious collection of complete dingbats?

I think you should sit down now because I'm about to say something that may shock you. Are you sitting? I have to assume so, because it would be very awkward if you were reading a computer screen standing up. Okay, here goes. This is the best season of Survivor since the very first one. There, I said it. And there's no taking it back, either. This is the Internet — crap statements like that live on forever. Not only is it the best season of Survivor since Richard Hatch took home the loot, but these past four episodes constitute the most amazing month-long run in the history of the show. Four straight blindsides done in the most dramatic fashion possible (Ozzy not using his hidden immunity idol, Jason not using his hidden immunity idol, Amanda shocking everyone with her hidden immunity idol, and then Erik — and I still can't even believe it as I'm typing it — giving away immunity for absolutely no reason whatsoever). That's right — no reason. How could he possibly think he was in trouble with that jury? He hadn't backstabbed or offended anyone? Parvati, Cirie, and Natalie all had more enemies over there than he did. But the women convinced him otherwise ...

If Erik wondered whether he had made the wrong move after handing his ugly-ass necklace over to Natalie, it should have become immediately obvious with a simple look over at the jury. Ozzy rolled his eyes (you're one to talk, mister), James went into hysterics (ditto), and Eliza did what Eliza always does — opening her mouth so wide you could drive an SUV through it while her eyes exploded off of her face. At this point, producers wisely didn't even try to hide what was happening, showing us each of the votes and contestant comments, my favorite being Amanda not even knowing what to say, trailing off into disbelieving silence after, "You know...." This was the point in the horror movie where you're yelling at the screen, "Oh no, the killer is stabbing the ice pick through your brain! But you don't even realize it yet! Trust me, it's going to really, really hurt! And you'll look really deformed if you survive! Which you won't because they are killing you right now as I yell at the screen! And I'm really sorry to tell you this, but I also can't stop laughing!"


While I don't necessarily agree that this is the best season of Survivor since the first season, I do see the point. There have been so many blindsides in this season's game, whoever ends up winning the $1 million bucks absolutely deserves to after all the outwitting that had to be done. I would love for Cirie to win but I just don't think she has the physical capability to do so. To be honest, it's anyone's game (including Natalie, the sole remaining fan in competition) ... and we'll find out this Sunday who the ultimate Survivor will be. Interestingly enough, for the first time ever, producers of the show revealed the votes of every single person last night -- but it was absolutely clear to everyone on EARTH how the vote was going to go down, er, except for Erik, that is. OY! Survivor is still such a good show/game. I have a feeling it might even last longer than The Real World will ... especially if shizz like what went down last night keeps happening in seasons to come. [Source]

UPDATE: Pink reader Liz reminds me that Erik hails from Hamburg, Michigan, attends classes at Eastern Michigan University and, apparently, is an ice cream scooper in the city of Hell, MI! OY! Click HERE to read the Detroit Free Press's loving tribute to his idiocy ;)

Liv & Royston Are Dunzo!

While Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon are still happily celebrating their week-old new nuptials in NYC, the news isn't quite so happy for Liv Tyler and her husband of 6 years, Royston Langdon. A rep for the couple have released a statement to People magazine revealing that the couple have decided to seperate ... which is the a nice way of saying that they are dunzo:


Liv Tyler and her husband, British rocker Royston Langdon, have decided to separate, her rep confirms to PEOPLE. "Liv Tyler and Royston Langdon have confirmed their separation. They remain good friends and devoted parents to their son Milo and are requesting that their family's privacy be respected at this time."

Liv and Royston have always been one of those quiet Hollywood couples that managed to keep their relationship under the radar. They were never a couple to seek out media attention but they never really shunned whatever attention they received, deciding instead to just live their lives come what may. This is very sad news, I really loved that Liv managed to find happiness with the lead singer of Space Hog and that they gave birth to the adorable little Milo. What a bummer. [Source]

The Reemergence Of Mimi ... And Her Hubby Nick, Too

A little over one week since Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon were secretly wed on a Caribbean Island, the happily married couple reemerged in the real world last night as the pair first attended the Time magazine 100 Most Influential People in the World event in NYC and then made their way to the Waverly Inn for some grub afterwards. Here are photos of Mimi and Nick, showing off their crazy wedding bling, as they made their way out of the Waverly last night:


Photo credit: Splash News

And here are photos of Nick fulfilling his destiny as Mimi's hubby:


Photo credit: Splash News

I figured the couple would be showing their faces sometime this week, I just hadn't anticipated that it would be at the Time 100 party ... makes sense, tho. I must admit, I've never seen a man wear a wedding band that has this many diamonds on it ... actually, I've never seen a married man wear diamonds on his band at all (that is, a man married to a woman). Clearly, these two are the perfect match. I've yet to hear if the couple have given any interviews to any media outlets last night ... but I'm sure that'll be coming along soon as well. [Source]