Monday, February 28, 2005

Knocked Out, Bit By Bit Bit

Well the Academy Awards are in the can and all there is left to do is to talk about what happened ... c'mon, you know I have to do it so let's just get it over with ... it's not like I was pathetic enough to blog thru the entire telecast. Gawd, who would do that?!

Personally, I cannot wait until the day comes when I get to step on that stage to collect my own award:

I promise to remember all the little people that I will crush and step on to reach my achievement. I'm sad to announce that I did not win the Thigh Master's Oscar Pool (but neither did he) ... I didn't even come close ... but I was pretty happy with the way my picks turned out:

I got 10 of them right ... and if I would have followed my heart entirely I would have chosen Clint Eastwood to win Best Director and Morgan Freeman to win Best Supporting Actor and I would have gotten 12 right. I prolly would have picked the Spanish song that won (the first Spanish language song to be nominated and then win for Best Original Song) as well but I was trying to play the odds.

I knew that Hilary Swank was going to win Best Actress:

She was so great in her role in Million Dollar Baby ... I have to say, though, that it's not very hard for her to play poor white trash ... she's been able to parlay those roles into mad dolla$!

Clint Eastwood won 2 Oscars for Best Director and Best Picture and deservedly so:

Baby was defo my pick for Best Picture ... that movie really takes hold of the viewer ... that's a what a good movie should do.

This drunk lady was my pick for the best dressed of the evening:

And Joan Rivers was my pick for the celeb in most dire need of more Nip/Tucks:

When Beyoncé wasn't too busy singing all of the nominated songs for Best Original Song:

(whoever came up with the idea to have Beyoncé sing every other song all night long should be taken out into a dark alley and beaten to death ... what a horrible, horrible idea!) then Counting Crows were embarrassing themselves in front of billions performing their song Accidentally In Love from Shrek 2:

Adam Duritz just looks so ridiculous ... how is it that he has been able to put his penis inside both Courtney Cox and Jennifer Aniston (individually and maybe both at the same time)? God, prolly the same way that K-Fed is able to hump Britney ...

... and speaking of ... it can't be all Oscar talk ('cuz I'm bored with it already) so let's get to the fun stuff. Britney Spears is determined to make her dog a star! But we'll get to Kevin in a little bit, she also wants to make sure her chihuahua Bit Bit gets some attention too:

Maybe it's time that I pick up a teeny tiny poochie to carry around everywhere I go ... I could call it Ti Ti or Ent Ent or something totally fagola like that. Whatevs, her little dog has its own section of her official website devoted to it and that just drives me crazy! Ah well, I still love my crazy-ass Britters.

Her other dog needs to be put down:

I finally picked up a hard copy of Details magazine and was able to read the full Kevin Federline/Britney Spears interview ... let me share with you my fave quote from the entire interview:

Kevin: People can write whatever they want. What you hear about in all of those bullshit-ass magazines is bullshit. Look, my ass stinks like everyone else. I think the best thing that I'll ever have going for me is that I am me, you know what I mean.

I also love how every other word out of his mouth is either shit, bullshit, fucking or fucking again ... he really swears a lot. I can't wait for his album to drop!

BONUS 'cuz I love y'all: Click HERE to download a fun mash-up called Tic Toxic (Gwen vs. Britney).

Nine Inch Nails have announced more US tour dates HERE. There is also a new picture of Trent in the studio:

Detroit isn't one of the dates announced ... so I have to decide whether I want to drive to see a show or wait and hope for a Detroit date ... anyone want to go with?

Paris Hilton can be pretty skanky:

And she can drive really fast ... In case you didn't know ... and Nikki Hilton doesn't just stuff her nose full of finger, she also stuffs her face full of food:

I love the Hiltons!

Yesterday, MTV aired the last 4 episodes of My Super Sweet 16 back to back with commentary from the Super Sweet 16ers:

I cannot stress how much I love these bitchy little beyotches! I have already decided, my birthday this year is going to be a Super Sweet 16 party ... even if that means it'll be me in a tiara talking about how I am a diva to anyone who will listen. Woot!

And now, the news:
So we were able to see Cursed yesterday and it was hilariously funny! It was very Kevin Williamson (a bit gay and full of the 90's) and very fun to watch:

I wish I could get the mark of the beast ... but oh well, we can't all be werewolves. There were 2 very cool things about the movie that made me love it instantly. First, the high school used in the film was Torrance High (aka West Beverly High, aka Sunnydale High). Holla atcha Hellmouth! Second, there was a Slumber Party poster in the guy's bedroom ... Holla atcha D-town love!

Anyways, the movie is fun and really funny ... check it out!

One last thing, I found a picture in Details magazine that I really, really liked:

I've been wanting to get a star tattoo for the longest time but I could never figure out where I would want to put it ... I think I am going to put it on my neck like the guy in this picture. Isn't it so kickass?! It's in the perfect spot ... it can be hidden for work and still be shown casually (and sexily). I told myself that if I'm still excited about it in a month then I'm definitely going to do it ... but spring break is in 2 weeks ... I might do it then. Comments, opinions ... let me know ...

I haven't been this excited about a new tattoo since '97 ... Wee!!!