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Monday, June 20, 2005

Squirting With Disaster

We are just a few months away from the arrival of Fetus Spears ... many people have been commenting that Britney Spears has been extremely lax with her pre-natal care. I contend that she is progressing along nicely. Spederline paid a visit to the doctor's office for a little check-up:

And while she has been loading up on chips and other junky snack foods, I believe she is doing what every other pregnant woman does when she's suffering through cravings. I'm with ya, Brit!

While older sister Britney is readying herself for motherhood, younger sister Jamie Lynn Spears is readying herself to take her place as the next big thing:

Movieline magazine has named Jamie Lynn as "The One to Watch" ... but there has been lots of press saying this very same thing for months now ... We're watching, Jamie Lynn, but you have to do something soon to make sure we keep watching.

Another day, another movie premiere for TomKat to suck face at. This time Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes were making an obnoxious scene at the UK premiere of War of the Worlds this weekend:

But you know ... it's still not too late Katie. You can still escape without ruining your life but only if you act NOW. Girl, you better run ... before Tommy Boy gets you so wrapped up that you will NEVER be able to leave:

Hee hee ... they do look SOOOOO happy ... but Tom wasn't entirely happy the whole time. A group of British pranksters thought it would be a hoot to pose as reporters and squirt Tom Cruise in the face with water with a fake microphone. Check out these HILARIOUS pictures:

OMG! I can't stop laughing ... unfortunately the pranksters were arrested for their little joke. On the plus side you can watch the whole incident (including Tom's angry reaction) HERE. Hahahahaha! I can't stop watching it ... it's freaking hilarious as hell! Tom Cruise needs to lighten up ... the guys were only joking around ... he should look on the bright side -- it's just more publicity!

On this side of the pond, Lindsay Lohan was on hand for the premiere of her new movie Herbie: Fully Loaded:

I'm not sure how I feel about her dress ... I guess now we know why she's been starving herself ... she wants to be able to wear Barbie clothes.

Check out these pictures of L. Lo from Movieline magazine:

She's pale as hell (hello, her tanning techniques [both fake and real] do not seem to be working) but she looks awesome with darker hair. LOSE THE BLONDE, LINDSAY! And eat something ... will ya?

Done! I am SO DONE WITH ASHLEE SIMPSON! I can't believe she continues to go out in public looking so terrible. Here are a couple of pictures of Miss Simpson after a night of partying at Mood nightclub:

Yes ... sadly I have to admit that I'm done with ... wait a minute ... hold the phone ... what do we have here ... is that ... yes ... yes, it is ... Ashlee Simpson FINALLY listened and stopped looking fugly! Ashlee looked SO MUCH BETTER this past weekend at the 2005 Much Music Awards in Toronto:

Ashlee was on hand to perform her song La La (although, I don't believe she won any awards) while The Killers were on hand to accept their award for Best International Video for Mr. Brightside. Click HERE for a full list of winners.

In other Simpson news, Jessica Simpson (also wearing STUPID braids) and Nick Lachey are still quite the picture of a happy couple:

I tend to think that they are going to make it as a happily married couple.

Here's another happily (?) married couple, David and Victoria Beckham are spending some time in St. Tropez:

He looks great!

Check out these hot pictures of Kristin Kreuk in Toro magazine:

She is sooo pretty. She makes a great Lana Lang on Smallville ... it's too bad she couldn't be Lois Lane in Superman Returns. I really like her look ... she really deserves to find life beyond Smallville and Neutrogena commercials.

Wee!!! Whitney Houston is back ... with Being Bobby Brown set to debut on Bravo on June 30, we are about to get a whole lotta Whitney to digest. Here is Ms. Thang with her pooch:

That is a ratty-ass-looking dog ... but I love me some Whitney ... I'll take what I can get.

Jennifer Aniston has, apparently, taken up Yoga:

If she doesn't want people laughing at her, she should probably not do it on her balcony in full view of the paparazzi.

Because I love my friend VLB Sarah (VLB = Voluptuous Latina Babe, Very Large Boobs) here is another picture of Jake Gyllenhaal at the Maui Film Festival:

Who loves ya, babe?

I love that 2 of my favorite Hollywood "It" girls have become best friends, here are some more pix of Hilary Duff and Michelle Trachtenberg:

They should do a movie together ... and ask me to co-star. We so should!

Allyson Hannigan has gone back to the longer hair look:

... and I love it!

God, Ashley Olsen went out for Starbucks again:

What is it about ... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ... sorry I slipped into a coma.

Prince William is a busy chap:

I want to be a prince! I can do it ... I'm a sexy motherfucker.

And finally, here is another picture of Orlando Bloom as the "Calcium Kid":

This picture looks much nicer in color.

Let's do the news:
I had a great day with my dad yesterday. He is the best dad EVER. I did spend the better part of the evening putting the finishing touches on a little article I wrote for a local Detroit mag (deets when I have something to link to) thanks, in large part, to my friend Erik (the one I worked with, not the one I sleep with) who is a great editor and proof-reader.

This week is going to fly by ... we leave for LA on Thursday morning ... unfortunately there has been a snag in our plans (nothing much to get into) so I'm really hoping that this trip turns out as fun as all of our previous trips to LA. Get ready you Angelinos ... I'll be in your town soon! If you see me at The Abbey, at Tiger Heat or just out on the town make sure you say hello.

I'm out.

PS: Did you watch that Tom Cruise video yet? YOU BETTER! It's awesome!



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