Sunday, March 12, 2006

Mighty, Morphin' Porno Ranger

UGH ... it should come as no surprise to anyone who is at all familiar with me and my mornings after that I am not feeling all that hot this AM PM. The SASS danceparty was fun ... which means that there was a lot of booze going around. When Mark shows up at your house with a bottle of Gentleman Jack then you know you're gonna have a fun night -- and that you'll be paying for it the next day. OY!

Let's get to it ... even tho the whole Brokeback Mountain thing is pretty much dunzo (well, the DVD has yet to be released but the phenomenon is letting up a bit) that doesn't mean that we have to stop obsessing over Jake Gyllenhaal, right? Check out these great pictures of Jake coming out of a health food shop with something sticking out of his mouth:

Behold, the luckiest straw in the world. HOT! [Source]

TomKat have been out of sight for a couple of weeks now but they have finally come out of hiding to attend one of Connor Cruise's basketball games ... note the extremely heavy jacket that Katie Holmes is wearing -- I'm just saying: takes note of Tom Cruise's choice of footwear. But all of Tom's shoes have heels because, well, he's 3-feet tall. Shouldn't Katie be dropping that "baby" she's "carrying" any second now? She must be into her 98th trimester by now. [Source, thanks Leora]

I am normally not a fan of butt crack ... there I said it ... it's true. Generally, I just say no. I'm usually not impressed by guys who can't keep their pants on ... well that's not entirely true but I'm not really gonna get into all of that -- ANYWAYS, I'm getting off my point. Can we just check out Orlando Bloom and his butt crack now?

I may have to reevaluate my stance on crack. Maybe Whitney Houston is on to something? Woot! [Source]

Hmmm ... I wonder what need Paris Hilton has for a plastic surgeon? I mean, isn't she the epitome of flawless perfection?

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH ... yeah, yeah I know ... I couldn't even type that with a straight face. LOLOLOLOL! I wonder what she had done ... well, the better question is what didn't she have done. [Source]

Madonna has some cute ass men in her life ... check out these adorable pictures of daddy Guy Ritchie and baby boy Rocco hanging out in Beverly Hills, CA:

Okay ... altogether now ... AWWWWWWW!!!! [Source]

Um ... just when I thought that no one was more desperate than Nick Lachey (who won't say no to any gig that comes his way), Jennifer Aniston appears on the cover of Good Housekeeping magazine ...

I <3 Jen but isn't this kinda hella sad? The poor dear. [Source]

Scarlett Johansson is being featured in the more prestigious Sunday Times Style magazine:

Eh ... the pics aren't that great. It's always the same thing ... pouty lips, pale complexion. Eh. [Source]

Those whacky kids at ONTD! have stumbled upon a fun new scandalous "celeb" sex/porn thing by way of THIS site (extremely NSFW). Brace yourselves Power Rangers fans ... Austin St. John, the actor who played the Red Power Ranger in the early 90's TV show, has found himself a new line of work ... check it out:

Yes ... sad but true ... the Red Power Ranger is now making gayish porno vids to pay the rent these days. Apparently this guy claims that he is "straight" but will allow certain things to be done to thim by other men. Um, yeah. If you head on over to (NSFW!) you can see all kinds of pictures of Austin St. John, who's porno name is "Brock", in all states of undress showing off his various ... assets. I've seen the video and I have to admit ... watching the Red Power Ranger in action was kinda disturbing ... but I quickly got over it. [Source & Source via Source]

Which brings me to the Hot Dude of the Week ... say hello to Sam:

Hmm ... I wonder what Sam would look like in a Power Rangers outfit? Ahhh ... I need to stop right now. Enjoy!! [Source]

The News:
Can I just say how happy I am that the weather is finally warming up around here? Unfortch we've yet to hit the 70s like New York City has but I am not complaining ... it looks like the snow is dunzo for good now :)

Last night Sarah, Mark, Megan and Tracey came over for an impromptu pizza party before we all went out to dance at SASS. I'm going to spare you the gory details about how we all got excited over a couple episodes of Lingo on the Game Show Network because, well, I don't want to come off as a dork -- but I'm suddenly realizing that it's prolly too late for that. Ah well ... we had fun ... and then we got our asses downtown to shake our assess all night long:

I think it goes without saying that we all had a great time. We got to meet some fun new people (like Pink reader Sadie and the very amorous bronzer dude) and did our best to tear the shizz up on the dancefloor.

Now that my stomach is somewhat settled again I have the most urgent craving for sushi so I think I'm gonna get some. I hope y'all had a great weekend! I'm out.


PS: I'm not sure if any of you noticed this or not but apparently Mariah Carey and Lindsay Lohan wore the same skirt in the pictures posted yesterday :)