Wednesday, May 31, 2006

A Bathing Ape

I can't ... believe ... my eyes ... have I stared too long a pictures of Kimberly Stewart that my vision has been severely damaged? Have I fallen into a parallel universe? Is the world coming to a speedy end? What in the name of all things good and holy could cause such a momentous event such as ... the cleaning of Kevin Federline?!?

These pictures, courtesy of US Weekly magazine, are from K-Fed's upcoming appearance in Item magazine which is due to hit newsstands on June 5th. In the magazine Kevin waxes philosophical on fame and fatherhood: On his kids: "It's completely unfair when a child is brought into this world an now he's already looked at like a prince. My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don't have it easy with me. Period....My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, dammit." On his media conspiracy theory: "The same day Dick Cheney shoots someone, they've got me on the cover of MSN [Web site]. It's life they're diverting attention from what's really going on." On the public: "I should just put a bulls-eye on my back. If I stay home and take care of my wife and my kids, then I'm a loafer, not a good father. If I try to have a career, nobody thinks I am caring for my family. I can't win." Yep, that sounds about right ... Sean Preston is destined to work at Taco Bell, Kevin is (unfortch) more important than Dick Cheney and we, the public, will prolly never believe that he is a hard working husband and father.

But none of his blathering is at all relevant ... did you see these pictures?! Homeskillet is really trying to pull a fast one on us. Don't think for a moment that The Federline has retired his baggy shorts and wife-beater t-shirts. He may clean up and *gasp* shave for a magazine photo shoot but it takes more than a new suit and a dorky haircut to change this tiger's stripes. [Source, thanks Molly]

Britney ... don't be fooled ... stay on course with Perry the hot manny. We got your back, girl!

Wedding Belles

I know many of you missed seeing Brit Brit on the blog yesterday but I figured she and her new man Perry (the manny) needed a day off so that they could spend some quality time alone. It looks like things are progressing very nicely ... Brit and Perry have been seen out and about almost every day since she returned home from NYC. What's even better is that she has yet to be seen with Kevin Federline ... at all ... since her return from the East Coast. Here are new pictures of Brit, Sean and the manny out for a nice stroll:

See? See that? She finally got a stroller for Sean Preston (altho, she's not using it -- she still insists on carrying that baby) It looks like she's listening to us ... she's finally wisening up ... a new stroller ... a new man ... a new pair of shoes. It appears that our prayers are finally being answered! Thank you, Xenu! [Source]

Here are more pictures from the set of Spider-Man 3. Yesterday we got our first look at Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy and today we have our first look at Topher Grace as Eddie Brock:

Eddie Brock, as you may know, starts out as Peter Parker's reporter rival and eventually becomes the villain Venom. Eddie has always been portrayed in the comics as a huge muscular dude ... not exactly the way that I would describe Topher Grace. At any rate, these pictures are really cool. I can't believe we're gonna hafta wait an entire year to see this movie. [Source]

Mariah Carey has been in NYC promoting her upcoming tour, her new Pepsi ringtone campaign and picking up awards along the way. Here are pictures of Mimi on her way into The Today Show (brown outfit) and on her way into Radio City Music Hall (blue outfit):

Mariah chatted with Katie Couric and Matt Lauer about her The Adventures of Mimi tour. Mimi brought along her baby Jack to Radio City Music Hall to pick up her BEST LEGS award from Gillette Venus. [Source, Source]

Here is a picture of Mariah standing next to a huge-ass replica of her award-winning set of gams:

Performer and Songwriter Mariah Carey Receives First "Celebrity Legs of a Goddess" Title and Announces Fourth Annual Search for Best Legs in America. Gillette Venus [PG], a recognized authority on women's legs, today named Mariah Carey the first "Celebrity Legs of a Goddess." The superstar, who captured three GRAMMY Awards for her celebrated six-times platinum album The Emancipation of Mimi, was immortalized with a 16-foot high likeness of her perfect legs. Ms. Carey unveiled the replica during a ceremony at New York's legendary Radio City Music Hall, home to some of the most famous legs in the world. As the official 2006 "Celebrity Legs of a Goddess," Ms. Carey kicked off Venus' nationwide search for the woman with the most beautiful legs in the U.S. "Legs of a Goddess" contests will be held at select venues during Ms. Carey's highly anticipated concert tour, The Adventures of Mimi: The Voice, The Hits, The Tour. "Mariah Carey was our hands-down choice for the first Venus 'Celebrity Legs of a Goddess' title," said Peter Clay, Vice President Premium Systems, Gillette Global Grooming. "She has gorgeous legs, and she radiates the inner beauty and confidence that embodies the Venus brand." I think Mariah looks amazing ... the legs statue is really freaky but hey, an award is an award. [Source]

Some said that it couldn't be done ... some said there was no way America's First Next Top Model was gonna talk Peter Brady into getting married but it happened ... Adrianne Curry and Christopher Knight finally tied the knot Monday in Joliet, IL:

VH1's My Fair Brady stars Adrianne Curry and Christopher Knight were married Monday evening, PEOPLE has confirmed. The couple exchanged vows in front of 250 friends and family during a traditional ceremony at the Christ Episcopal Church in Curry's hometown of Joliet, Ill ... In attendance at their wedding were former Brady Bunch stars Barry Williams (Greg Brady), Susan Olsen (Cindy Brady) and Mike Lookinland (Bobby Brady), as well as VH1's The Surreal Life co-star Joannie "Chyna" Laurer. "About 14 days after I met him, I bought a bridal magazine," Curry told PEOPLE in March, about meeting Knight. "I started researching." Boy -- ain't that the truth. Adrianne practically jumped the poor guy's bones the moment she laid eyes on him on their season of The Surreal Life. Honestly, I never believed that they would ever get married ... here's hoping they made the right decision and live happily ever after -- well, at the very least I hope they make it to Xmas. [Source]

Jake and Maggie Gyllenhaal were in the Hamptons over the weekend to attend and participate in a friend's wedding. Here are a few pictures of the Gyllenhaals being all matrimonial with their friends:

It looks like a very pregs Maggie actually participated in the wedding ceremony. It looks like Jake was on hand to just stand around and look good. Ever the sportsman, Jakey poo and his boys spent some time playing some b-ball before they had to get all dolled up for the wedding. Woot!

Hmmm ... these pictures of Reese Witherspoon with her little girl Ava sure seem to support the rumors that Reese is, indeed, pregs with, what would be, her third child:

Altho, the rumors about her "third pregnancy" have been going around since December '05. It does look she's got a little tummy going on, don't it? Ryan Phillippe, meanwhile, used his growing pecs and beefy calves to pick up some food for his happy little family. I have to say, I think it'd be great if Witherppe had a third child -- we all know that Ryan and Reese make the cutest babies. [Source]

It looks like Ashlee Simpson isn't merely content with a new nose ... apparently she got herself a new pair of lips to go along with her new, cute nose:

All she needs now is a pair of breasts and she will complete her transformation into her sister Jessica Simpson. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! [Source]

Check out these pictures of Dita von Teese performing for Hugh Hefner at one of his many, many 80th birthday parties:

I love these pictures of Dita ... she is so beautiful. I'm kinda over Hugh's 80th birthday but these pix of Dita's performance just couldn't be passed up. [Source]

What is it about a man on a horse that is so strangely appealing? Hmmm ... it must be that Brokeback thing. Anyways, check out this picture of Prince Harry at the Hurtwood Park Polo Club in Surrey, England over the weekend:

The hawt prince was participating in the polo event which was held to raise money for his charity Sentebale, which assists children orphaned by AIDS in Lesotho, Africa. So lemme get this straight ... not only is Prince Harry working to raise money for AIDS orphans in Africa but he's also looking hot while doing so? Le Sigh! [Source]

Blaurgh! Even tho Heather Locklear claims she's no longer with David Spade here is a new picture of the pair lookin' pretty cozy on a beach in Malibu over the weekend:

I suppose the pair could be "just friends" ... and I sincerely hope that is the case. The thought of David Spade having sex with anyone is just kind of nauseating. [Source]

Speaking of nauseating, here are newish pictures of Kimberly Stewart enjoying a lovely lunch with friends:

I hope she enjoyed her lunch cuz I doubt I'm going to enjoy mine. [Source]

Pink reader Tacha discovered that Kimberly Stewart has been signed to ... get this ... a modeling agency. After I finished LOLing my ass off I checked out the website for Nous Model Management and found her model card page:

Kim looks more like a severely flat-chested Samantha Fox than her usual fug self ... which is prolly why she got hired ... OR ... maybe she pays them to employ her ... which does make more sense. [Source, thanks Tacha]

And finally, here are few outtake pictures of Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn from their photoshoot for Entertainment Weekly magazine:

The Break-Up opens this Friday ... here's hoping it at least makes the Top 10 at the box office. [Source, thanks Peri]

Les News:
I got to spend some time hanging out with Tracey and Zakiya last night at Tracey's place. When I got there, Zakiya was all decked out in her hot pink polka dot bathing suit ready to pose for pictures:

Couldn't you just die?! She just learned how to kiss (she's puckering up for the camera in the 4th and 5th pics) and is now standing up on her own ... she should be walking in mere moments.

Trace picked up a new computer so after my haircut this afternoon I'm going over to help her set it up ... then Sarah and I are hanging out. I predict we'll be planted in front of the TV for the premiere of The Hills.

That is all ... I'm out! Lates!