Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Million Dollar Baby: The SHAM! Continues

Welp, it finally happened ... after months of waiting, we finally get to see what Suri Holmes-Cruise looks like. No, she doesn't have antennae, nor is she a Martian shade of green ... TomKat is too smart to show off a baby that looked like that. She's just a cute little blue-eyed baby with, what has been described over and over again as, "beautiful black hair". Katie Couric, on her first night as the first ever solo-female news anchor of a major broadcast network, gave the CBS Evening News viewers the first look at the Vanity Fair pictures of Suri Holmes-Cruise ... here are a couple screencaps from tonight's broadcast:

I'm not sure where this baby came from but I still doubt it came from a union between Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. If anything ... don't you think the baby bears a striking resemblance to Chris Klein, Katie's boyfriend before Tommy?

I still contend that this thing is still a SHAM! Either this baby was bought, borne of Chris Klein or came from planet XOLTON ... at any rate, she's really cute. It'll be fun watching little Suri grow up ... hearing her first word, seeing her first steps, watching her morph into a ginormous beast-like creature that will pillage our planet of its rich resources ... yeah, something like that ;) [Source]

Um ... I had no idea that they made wigs small enough for babies! What's Suri hiding underneath that rug on her head?

Maybe she's got antennae after all? C'mon now ... this has to be a joke, right? [Source, thanks Jen]

This issue of Vanity Fair hits newsstands tomorrow.

You're Booty-ful

You know ... having a good laugh at Kevin Federline isn't really so hard. One can pretty much get a good chuckle no matter what the poor boy does ... whether he's shopping, fronting or "parenting" there's always something to laugh at ... which is why I'm astounded that K-Fed has no shame going out in public looking like this ... homeboy is just asking for it:

Photo credit: X-17

While I'm sure these ridiculous shoes cost a pretty penny, I can't *for the life of me* imagine a scenario (or an outfit, for that matter) that would make me think, "Gee, those huge orange shoes I just bought with my wife's enormous fortune would be perfect to wear out in public!" Kevin Federline is such a joke. [Source]

It appears that this clown mentality is contagious ... check out this cute picture of Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears cruising around in Brit Brit's Mini Cooper ... cue the calliope music:

LOL! See, this clown car gag wouldn't have worked without K-Fed and his McDonaldland sneaks ... so thanks, Kev! [Source]

Last week I posted a newslink about the hacking of Paris Hilton's debut album in the UK. Guerrilla artist Banksy hijacked a shipment of Paris Hilton cds and replaced the cd with a disc of his own music ... he also replaced the inner artwork with his own manipulated artwork. Here are a few photos of the jacked up artwork and the cd:

Banksy has replaced Hilton's CD with his own remixes and given them titles such as Why am I Famous?, What Have I Done? and What Am I For? He has also changed pictures of her on the CD sleeve to show the US socialite topless and with a dog's head. A spokeswoman for Banksy said he had doctored 500 copies of her debut album Paris in 48 record shops across the UK. She told the BBC News website: "He switched the CDs in store, so he took the old ones out and put his version in" ... But he left the original barcode so people could buy the CD without realising it had been interfered with. Banksy is notorious for his secretive and subversive stunts such as sneaking doctored versions of classic paintings into major art galleries. His spokeswoman said he had tampered with the CDs in branches of HMV and Virgin as well as independent record stores ... No customers had complained or returned a doctored version, he said. "It's not the type of behaviour you'd want to see happening very often," he said. "I guess you can give an individual such as Banksy a little bit of leeway for his own particular brand of artistic engagement. "Often people might have a view on something but feel they can't always express it, but it's down to the likes of Banksy to say often what people think about things. "And it might be that there will be some people who agree with his views on the Paris Hilton album." A spokesman for Virgin Megastores said staff were searching for affected CDs but it was proving hard to find them all. "I have to take my hat off - it's a very good stunt," he added. Paris Hilton can't be too thrilled at the notion that people don't seem to mind they didn't actually get her music. A quick search on eBay shows that the cds are going for a minimum of $400 right now. I find it hard to believe that anyone would pay $400 for a regular Paris Hilton cd. LOL! [Source, thanks UPF]

As if this cd hacking humiliation weren't bad enough for our fave heiress ... it appears that good ol' karma dealt a swift blow to Miss Hilton's ego over the weekend. You may recall that Paris Hilton seemed to enjoy the fact that Tara Reid was denied entrance into the Hyde nightclub in Hollywood while she was able to breeze inside (click HERE to watch the mortifyingly embarrassing video) ... well, Paris and her friends (P. Diddy included) were treated pretty much the same way when they were denied entry into Bungalow 8 here in NYC:

Apparently, Paris Hilton, Brandon Davis and Diddy were causing such a commotion outside the club because they weren't allowed inside that the police had to come by and calm them down. Awww ... Paris has feelings just like any regular person. Now we know what makes a millionairess cry. [Source]

On the other hand, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen had no problem getting into the after-VMA party at Bungalow 8 on that same night, here are pictures of the twins exiting the club:

I'm pretty sure the girls were covering their faces so that they wouldn't get recognized by Paris and co. I mean, who'd want to be seen with the losers who couldn't get into the club? [Source]

Lindsay Lohan and Harry Morton (Fire Taco? Pink Crotch?) spent much of last week vacationing in Hawaii before they jetted home to LA and the onto Venice, Italy. Here are a few pictures of L. Lo and Harry getting amorous in Hawaii before they left the islands:

Harry really seems to be enjoying all that Lindsay has to offer. Ah, young love ... ain't it grand? [Source]

After the groping (and other stuff) was concluded in Hawaii, the pair jetted off to Venice, presumably for the Film Festival that is going on there right now. Here are pictures of Linds and Harry chillin' out in the Venetian canals:

Even tho Lindsay is wearing what may or may not be an engagement ring, there is no official word yet on any official engagement betwixt the lovebirds. Hmmm ... [Source]

Speaking of lovebirds, here are new pictures of Nicole Richie and Brody Jenner grabbin' some coffee in Malibu, CA over the weekend:

Photo credit: X-17

While I didn't get any official confirmation of an official relationship between these two when I hung out with them last week, it was clear that there is nothing but love between the two of them. They sure do look happy together ... it's great to see Nicole looking so happy again. [Source]

Bichie weren't the only celebs chillin' in Malibu over the weekend ... Jack Osbourne spent some beachtime with a couple of ladies lady and Kimberly Stewart this past Sunday ... and my, oh my, was she a sight to behold:

Seriously ... WTF is Kimberly wearing? Her unitard looks bad enough on dudes, it looks atrocious on her! I mean, really ... how can we not make fun of her? She's such a mess. [Source]

Holy Jebus ... this new season of Nip/Tuck keeps getting better and better and it hasn't even started yet. As y'all are well aware, I'm a fan of The Young and the Restless so that means I'm a fan of Thad Lukinbill who plays J.T. on the show. Imagine my ECSTATIC GLEE when I found out, not only that Thad would be guesting on Nip/Tuck this season, but that he would be doing so IN THE NUDE:

Click above to see the larger, uncensored image

Whoooooooa boy ... you better believe that I will be watching Nip/Tuck this season. The booty count appears to be extremely high on this show ... I think I've been missing out for far too long. [Source]

And just because I'm in a randy mood this morning, here are a couple more screenshots of Mario Lopez' booty cameo from this upcoming season of Nip/Tuck:

Click above to see the larger, uncensored image

MMMMMM HMMMMMMMMMMM. Yes, please please please! [Source]

Today, Rosie O'Donnell makes her debut as the newest host on The View (taking over the seat vacated by Meredith Vieira) ... while I normally can't stand watching The View (mainly because I can't stand Elisabeth Hasselbeck's opinions on pretty much anything), I might have to watch a few eps just to see if any drama ensues ... after all, Barbara Walters has already make it clear that she wants Rosie to stop blogging about the show on her own personal blog:

The View boss Barbara Walters wants Rosie O'Donnell, who starts as co-host on Tuesday, to stop blogging about the show. "I didn't like the blog," Walters tells Newsweek of a post in which O'Donnell complained about a promotional skit for the new season. "I saw the new view promos," O'Donnell wrote on her Web site. "Found myself/ in the position/ I loathe the most/ powerless." But Walters is hoping O'Donnell will be a team player. "I'm counting on Rosie's intelligence and sensitivity and humor," she tells Newsweek. "This is, after all, an entertainment show. It is based on people who like each other and are having a good time, not on people who are arguing and unhappy." Soon after Walters spoke to the magazine, she called back to say she'd just received flowers with a card reading, "Barbara, I only want the promos and the show to be great. And I love you. Love, Ro." I love this shizz! I don't really see Rosie O'Donnell backing down to the likes of Barbara Walters ... Rosie has gotten quite militant about her beliefs in the past few years. The 10th season of The View should be very interesting ... especially when it becomes the Rosie O'Donnell Show. [Source]

Fox has released the first Mischa Barton-less promo cast picture for the new season of The OC:

I'm sure Mischa Barton could care less that the show is soldiering on without her ... I'm also very sure that the rest of the cast couldn't be more thrilled. [Source]

And finally, TheToriStore.com is now taking pre-orders for the new Tori Amos box set A Piano: The Collection:

I am very excited for this box set ... while I can't wait to hear the previously unreleased songs (like Zero Point, Peeping Tommi and Dolphin Song), I think I'm most excited for the "extensive track-by-track Tori Amos commentary". While you can pre-order the box set at the official Tori Store you can also pre-order it at Amazon for about $10 less. UPDATE: Barnes & Noble have a special edition of this box set with and extra DVD disc for another $10 less. That's the one I'm gonna order! Thanks, Ben. [Source]

El News:
Today is the first day of school for thousands of kids all over the country ... it is actually the second first day of school that I haven't participated in in years. All thru elementary, junior and high school ... all thru undergrad and graduate school ... all thru my years as a teacher at ULS ... I've gotten used to participating in the first day of school. Hmm ... I don't really miss it per se ... or maybe I do ... I dunno ... I was just thinking about all the kids and teachers out there who have to be back at school today.

Last night David and I met up with Gurj, Danny, Josh and Lisa for a fun dinner at Kate's Joint. We didn't get to see the gang this past Saturday (since we didn't make it to MisShapes) so it was awesome hanging out with them last night.

I'm hoping that this week will be a quiet week because we're trying to save our pennies for a little trip that David and I are taking next week. Yes, folks ... David and I are going away to Paris, France for a couple of weeks to celebrate his birthday in style. We leave next Monday and I couldn't be more thrilled and excited. Neither of us have ever been to Paris so we get to enjoy the beautiful city of lights and romance together.

Yeah, that deserves a huge-ass WOOT! Does anyone have any suggestions for things we should do on our Parisian holiday? Leave me a comment.

So ... okay ... I guess that is all for now. I am out.