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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

That's All, Folks?

So last night was the big Season Finale night for 2 of my fave shows this year, 24 and Heroes ... and obvs, I was very excited to see how things would be wrapping up on both shows ... but before we get to all of that (and I've got some stuff to say) let's first behold a miracle ...

Honestly, I never thought I'd see the day that Paris Hilton would be caught dead holding ... a Bible ... but I guess it's true what they say -- Paris will try anything at least once. I don't necessarily think that Hell has frozen over per se, but I wouldn't be surprised if temps. down there have dropped considerably:

Photo credit: Splash News

Now, I realize that Miss Hilton is freaking out over the prospect of having to go to jail for 23 days but if she's turning to religion ... well, she must be in worse shape than I thought. The praying, I can understand, but the thought of Paris engaging in the actual study of the sacred text of Christianity is very ... unnerving. You will note that the Bible that she is carrying is gold (natch), looks like is has a couple of coffee rings on the cover and prolly came from one of the sidetable drawers at one of her Hilton hotels. This Bible is a Gideon Bible that is left in each hotel/motel room across the country for wary travelers to have something to read in their time of need, to gain comfort or because they are too lazy to go downstairs to get a newspaper. Paris is also carting around The Power of Now written by Eckhart Tolle which, according to the book description on, is: ... the truest path to happiness and enlightenment. And while this message may not seem stunningly original or fresh, Tolle's clear writing, supportive voice, and enthusiasm make this an excellent manual for anyone who's ever wondered what exactly "living in the now" means Yep, Paris better enjoy the "now" while she can because in a couple of weeks her "now" is going to really suck. [Source]


Blah. I was pretty much worried that the season finale of 24 would be a disappointment, especially with the way that the last few eps have been going, and I'm sorry to say that I was right. I'm sorry, but a hostage retrieval + oil platform explosion does not a great season finale make. But, it really looked as if the producers had painted themselves into a corner early on when they went ahead and nuked Southern California in the 4-hour season premiere ... the rest of the day really had nowhere else to go but down ... which is a huge bummer because I really do love this show:

There really wasn't that much excitement the whole ep but I there are some things about the ep that I feel are worth talking about. Karen Hayes turned out to be a really kickass character. I really hated her when she appeared last season as the Director of Homeland Security but once she got on Team Jack! (and in Bill Buchanan's pants) she really warmed up and became a great lady. I'm sorry but Morris O'Brien sucks hardcore. His character never really fleshed himself out ... he's a genius who managed to steal Chloe's heart but who also has a drinking problem and helped the terrorists by arming the nuclear device that exploded on US soil ... and? I found him hugely annoying and really bothersome ... and he had an adverse effect on Chloe all season. She wasn't as saucy and quippy as she usually is because she was wasted by having to interact with Morris. Poop sandwich. She should've had Milo as her sole love interest ... and that would've made his death more poignant (not to mention would've set up a great cat fight between Chloe and Nadia ... see, the producers should hire me on as a consultant). I actually laughed out loud when VP Noah Daniels had his epiphany about leadership in the big chair ... really, Noah? It's hard, huh? This is the best the producers could come up with??? He should've been assassinated by a Russian spy or something ... or he should've launched missiles at Russia ... something dangerous and exciting rather than him creeping around the Oval Office lookin' constipated all the time. OY! And as soon as Chloe did her face plant onto the floor I new that she would be pregs ... and now her career is over. If you thought Chloe was all emo this season can you imagine what she'll be like when she's a mother? I'd hate for Chloe's pregnancy to be the moment when the show jumps the shark (and if she has a son named Jack I'll puke onto my shoes). I liked Jack's tirade at Secretary Heller at the end of the ep, it almost made up for the really crappy rest of the ep. Jack has never spoken back to his superiors like that before ... is this a sign of things to come? They are promising that next season will be "The Best Season Ever" ... after how this season ended, I'd settle for merely a better season overall. The show is still my favorite ... and they really did make a valiant effort at the end to try something interesting but, as I said, they really blew their load too early on in the season. I hope they are better at spreading the big shocks over the whole season (like they normally do) rather than getting it all out at once in the beginning. [Source]

Do yourself a favor, head on over to Thighs Wide Shut to read the Thighmaster's review of this season of 24 ... it's way more entertaining than last night's season finale -- I promise.


Now, Heroes had a stronger season over all ... but, again, I feel they kinda dropped the ball at the last second. I'm not sure it was a good idea to show us what the future would look like so soon before the season finale ... the dark, evil future looked cool ... the way things actually turned out was so not cool -- in that it was just blah:

I did like how notions of who was good and who was bad changed over time. Mr. Bennett (whose first name we learned is Noah) started out as a bad guy and ended up a hero ... Mother Petrelli didn't seem like anything special and then turned out to be an evil beyotch. I was pissed that there was so much lead-up to the final showdown and then ... all we got was a lot of crybaby nonsense (and only one death? Matt looked dead to me). Sylar got stabbed ... and then he slithered away into the sewers ... so not exciting. Peter did blow up but his brother Nathan sacrificed himself to save the city of NYC ... I mean, that was nice but ... eh, I was totally dejected that nothing really surprising happened. And, seriously, are we supposed to be so intrigued and confounded by that 3 minute sneak peak into next season that we'll be talking about it all summer? 'Fraid not ... Hiro goes back in time and ...? What else is there to say? I was bummed that the season finale was so anticlimactic because I really love this show. It was mos def the best new show this season and overall, it kicked ass. I guess we'll see if they'll be able to keep it hot and sexy next season. Peter Petrelli better be on next season ... or at least, they better have someone with sexy hair like his. [Source]

Now watch, Lost -- which sucked most of the season -- will prolly come out with an amazing season finale tomorrow night ... that would be hilarious.

Alright, let's move on ... Angelina Jolie, with her un-hubby Brad Pitt in tow, shined on the red carpet at the Cannes Film Festival yesterday where her new movie A Mighty Heart had its worldwide debut ... here are a few pics:

Photo credit: Splash News

Marianne Pearl and her son came out for the premiere, of course, because if Angelina Jolie is playing YOU in a movie, you get your ass to every premiere you can. Mischa Barton was there as well and the only reason that I posted a pic was because I really enjoying looking at her poodle hair as if it were pretty ... which it isn't. If we're talkin' pretty, we're talkin' Brad Pitt ... who looks smokin' in that tux and perfectly coiffed hair. I'm not sure if A Mighty Heart is something that I have to see but I'm sure it'll be one of those gut-wrenching flicks that will end up on Lifetime TV someday. [Source]

In other premiere news, the new movie Knocked Up had its premiere in Hollywood last night (and for the life of me, I don't understand why it didn't open at Cannes first) and star Katherine Heigl was looking very ... special ... on the red carpet:

Photo credit: Splash News

I don't know why she does that with her mouth but it is very unattractive. If she thinks it's cute, she wrong ... her good buddy TR Knight should be giving her better red carpet advice. Even still ... this is a movie that I'll prolly see. I really loved The 40-Year Old Virgin so I'm sure that this movie will be just as entertaining ... well, at least that's the way they're selling it. [Source]

I think one of my favorite things in life is seeing David Beckham in action on the soccer field ...

... I don't know what it is but it really makes me feel good seeing pictures like this ... I can't put my finger on it -- but, boy, I'd like to. [Source, Source]

Last night the greatest Britons in Great Britain were honored at a ceremony that saluted the greatest Britons at an aptly named event called The Greatest Britons 2007. Here are a few pics from last night's event:

THE Queen was last night named the Greatest Living Briton at a star-studded live TV show backed by The Sun. The Greatest Britons 2007 ceremony was the finale to weeks of voting by Sun readers. Prince Edward accepted the award on her behalf by video link. He said: "I am just sorry that my mother can't be here to receive this in person. She feels very honoured to receive this." And Helen Mirren, who played Her Majesty in movie The Queen, said: "She deserves to win. She has dedicated her life to Britain." Sun readers had whittled down a list of 50 brilliant Brits to a shortlist of five. Then ITV viewers picked the Queen ahead of rival finalists Robbie Williams, Sir Paul McCartney, Dame Julie Andrews and Baroness Thatcher ... David Beckham, 32, was named Britain's greatest ambassador. The Real Madrid and former England star jetted into London from Spain to collect the honour from Arsenal's Thierry Henry. He said: "This is an honour and a privilege" ... Comedian Ricky Gervais, 45, was Greatest Briton in the TV category. Newlywed Brit singing sensation Amy Winehouse, 23, beat legend Sir Elton John in the music category ... Graffiti artist Banksy was named top Brit in the art category. Wow, it sounds like they picked some really great winners ... it's suprising that Amy Winehouse beat out Elton John and that Banksy was honored for art -- brills. What a fun little vanity award show ... I think it's great that the honorees actually showed up to collect their prizes, that Prince Edward accepted on behalf of The Queen is very surprising ... it looks as if she's lightening up a bit. [Source]

You know ... I really went over and over and over trying to come up with the perfect joke to go along with these pictures but nothing really came to mind:

Photo credit: Splash News

I mean, what more can be said about people mistaking this blow-up doll for Victoria Beckham? I mean ... really. [Source]

Aww ... it looks as if Madonna is stressing herself out on the set of the film that she's directing called Filth and Wisdom:

Photo credit: Splash News

See, if directing were easy than her husband would be making better movies. Maybe Madge should stick to singing ;) [Source]

Okay ... I have to admit that these pictures of Suri Holmes Cruise playing with her alleged father Tom Cruise on the set of her alleged mother Katie Holmes' new movie Mad Money are really super cute:

I never said that robotically cloned children couldn't be cute. She's actually quite adorable. [Source]

Hmm ... first Jessica Simpson and John Mayer say they're "broken up" and then they enjoy a couple days of frantic press talking about their break-up ... and then they both mysteriously end up in NYC -- mere blocks away from one another ...

Photo credit: INFdaily

... it does seem very shady to me. These two seem smart enough to pull off a huge prank to fool everyone into thinking they're broken up when really they're not -- well, at least John is smart enough to pull it off. I'm not sure that I totally believe that they are no longer together but, I guess time will tell. [Source]

Uh oh ... something appears to be very wrong with Matthew McConaughey:

Photo credit: Splash News

Did someone steal his chewin' tabacco? Cuz he looks really pissed. [Source]

And finally, Paula Abdul doesn't seem to be having a very good week this week ... here are pictures of Paula gettin' all emotional out in public right after news broke that she broke her nose by falling over her tiny Chihuahua ... like, seriously:

Photo credit: Splash News

Paula Abdul broke her nose over the weekend after she fell while trying to avoid stepping on her Chihuahua, her publicist said Monday. Abdul was recovering from the mishap and will appear on "American Idol" Tuesday and its season finale Wednesday, publicist David Brokaw said. "She's a little sore, but is doing fine," he said. Abdul told the syndicated entertainment TV show "Extra" she tore cartilage in her nose and fractured her toe. "I took a nasty fall ... trying not to hurt my dog. I bruised myself on my arm ... my chest, my waist all the way down to my hip. All from my little chubby Tulip," Abdul said. The dog was not hurt, Brokaw said. No word on whether or not alcohol was involved but you're free to draw your own conclusions. Head on over to to watch Paula explain what happened in her own unique way. [Source]

Les News:
Finally ... yesterday afternoon David and I finally made it to the movies so that we could see 28 Weeks Later and OMG am I glad that we did. Hands down, this movie is the best horror film to be released this year so far. I really loved 28 Days Later and this movie picks up right where that one left off ... and it does not disappoint:

The action in the beginning was handled very well ... there was just enough poignancy and then heart-terrifying horror to get the blood pumping early on. When the dust settles, the story picks up "28 Weeks Later" in, what is essentially, the US operated 51st state of Great Britain. The rage virus has been killed off ... or so they think. Now I don't want to give too much away, you really should see this flick ... it's really fun. But, I must comment on the poor mother that is featured in this movie. You think your life sucks? Not only was this woman abandoned by her husband and left to fend for herself in a sectioned off, disease-ridden and zombie-ful area of London by herself for six months ... but once she is rescued she is strapped to a bed so that her husband, the man who abandoned her and yet she still loves, can not only kill her but beat her face in, squish her eyes into their sockets and then rip her neck out. I mean ... she got a really shitty deal in this movie. The rest of the movie does not fail to disappoint when it comes to gore and grossness ... all I kept thinking to myself was, OMG, that is so effed up! I really liked the helicopter scene ... that was really fun. I'm excited to see how the story will progress in the third sequel (the ending really sets it up) especially when you see how things turn out. My one problem with the story was the ever-present zombie dad who stalked the 2 kids til the very end. There was nothing in the story to let the audience know that the zombies can think and reason ... it seemed really cliched that the "monster dad" kept showing up everywhere the kids went. But really, that was a minor flaw ... the movie totally rules!

After the movie, we met up with Mike for dinner at Mexicali in Studio City and hung out for a while. Because of all the TV I had to watch we had to make it an early night ...

Today, tho, I have a surprise for David ... I hope it all works out the way I'm planning. I'm out.



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