You can rest assured that if she breathes or poops, I'll bring you the news straightaway ... hold on, what's this ... yes, yes we have confirmation that Britney Spears has just pooped:
Man, that girl really loves her public restrooms don't she? I've said it once, I'll say it again ... thank the gods she is wearing shoes.
ATTENTION: 24 SPOILER ALERT WARNING
OMG ... 24 last night was, to quote the Thigh Master, yumcredible. Where do I even begin??? Let's start off with the hot assassin ... I knew she was too smart to be just a regular Marwan flunky ... this was the woman who tried to assassinate President Palmer a few seasons ago! And can I just say that she is hot!
Her little plot to fake out CTU totally did not fake me out ... I did not believe for one second that Tony was killed in that car explosion. I found the exchange between Tony and Michelle very poignant ... I truly believe that they are going to leave CTU together, forever (when you take into consideration what they did for Jack at the end of the episode, it's easy to believe they are done with CTU). So yeah, in the midst of all this drama they managed to find out the nuclear missile was just about to hit LA and managed to stop it just in time. Perfect. I find it highly ironic that Jack Bauer goes to such great lengths to save the country (and the world) from horrible destruction only to get sold out to China. I did NOT think they were going to resolve the China-incident so soon ... I really thought the next season would take place while the US and China were on brink of war.
If you really, really, REALLY wanted President Palmer to punch President Logan in the face raise your hand. I cannot believe what an insipid idiot Logan is ... and of course he gets all the praise while Palmer does all the dirty, smart work and gets absolutely nothing. This show rules ... if I care this much about these characters, yeah that's a good show.
I also wasn't faked out by the last fake-out ... I knew that Jack wasn't dead ... and I knew that Tony, Michelle and Chloe would figure out a way to help him escape with his life. "Jack Bauer" is dead ... for all intents and purposes ... but he'll be back.
Hello, didn't Audrey Raines have the worst day ever? From being kidnapped to finding out her brother is, gasp, GAY, to losing the 2 men that she was in love with ... yeah, she gets the "having the worst day" award.
I kind of like the way the season ended ... it's completely implausible that all of the season's events took place in the span of one day (hello, remember Behrooz Araz and Erin Driscoll? It seems like it's been years since we've seen either of them) but you kind of have to go with it. Jack walking off into the
Moving on ...the other big TV news from yesterday was Tom Cruise's appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show:
Did anyone else suspect that he was high on Jesus Juice?
He was completely crazy ... after that appearance there is no way I really believe him ... he was just so crazy! Maybe his publicist is high on Jesus Juice too. [via JJB]
Ashlee Simpson ... oh man ... this girl is falling out of my good graces by leaps and bounds:
Gah, I'm actually getting used to her ugly hair (I don't like it, I just am used to seeing it all the time) ... but look at this get-up! That t-shirt and wooden necklace combo is just ... ew.
Jessica Simpson, on the other hand, is not always known for her great fashion sense but I kinda really like her Daisy Duke outfit:
Damn, those headphones are huge ... but they are not her only big things:
I just can't believe that Nick Lachey would cheat on her ... she is like every fratboy's dream girl. Even I can appreciate her assets.
Paris Hilton is one popular girl:
It's easy to see why all the fellas love her ... for her sunglasses.
Reese Witherspoon is looking R-O-U-G-H!
The girl looks ragged and haggard ... and she is STILL without husband Ryan Phillipe. Come to think of it, he's been out of sight for a few weeks now ... what is he up to?
Hilary and Haylie Duff love the kiddies:
It should be ME in that picture with them ... geeze, do you even know what that would do to me? I'd prolly explode from poptart overload.
Ever wonder what a baby born of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie would look like?
Orlando Bloom suffers much for his art:
He shaved off all of his hair for his next movie role. He plays a military man or something like that ... It's bound to be a huge hit just like Kingdom of Heaven.
Pink ... why does her name have to be Pink? OI! Here is Pink kissing a very ugly dude:
This "dude" is the same chick that she has been seen hanging out with in recent months. He/She is really scary ... but Pink ain't no prize either. Carey Hart is a brave, brave, stupid man.
Here is another picture of Mary Kate Olsen and her new beau:
She looks like Sophia from The Golden Girls and he looks like Dorothy ... in a hoodie!!! [via ONTD!]
This picture of Renée Zellweger and Russell Crowe is hilarious:
It looks like she's squeezin' something.
Aww ... the Beckham family went out for a day of tennis:
They look sickenly cute, don't they? I always joke about stealing away David Beckham from Victoria but I really think they are a very cute family. The bastards!
Here are some better pictures of Jared Leto's newly shaven head:
He looks good! The shaved head looks much better on Jared than it does on Orlando.
Hope you haven't eaten lunch yet:
And finally, do you ever wonder what it takes to make a Backstreet Boy happy?
Nick Carter just loves being on stage with his bandmates. Zoinks ... there are enough pictures floating around of Nick's asset to make me a believer. [via ONTD!]
Let's get to the news:
- BirthMatch 3000 -- Fetus Spears vs. Fetus Garner.
- The Michael Jackson defense team calls Jay Leno to the stand. They are said to rest their case as soon as this week.
- Did Michael Jackson really sell his Neverland Ranch?
- Peace the Spork Out goes to the voice of Tony the Tiger. He was Grrrrr-eat!
- It does not pay to hang out with Bobby Brown.
- Having reached the heights of acting genius, Hayden Christensen hints that he may quit acting.
- On a related note, Mr. Snitch has "the most (apparently) unintentionally ironic Revenge of the Sith moment" HERE.
- ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. [via Thighs]
- What does Ashlee Simpson have to hide?
- Who wants to book Ashlee Simpson to play my Super Sweet 16 party this July?
- The sex is ... bananas? B-A-N-A-N-A-S???
- Has Ken Jennings finally met his Jeopardy! match?
- Dave Chapelle shows up in Ohio. Still claims he's not crazy.
- Visit SceneStars to stream the new White Stripes album Get Behind Me Satan.
- Pink is the new ... "killer" leather blazer! [thanks Jon]
- Are you ready for Final Destination 3?
- Paris Hilton's Carl's Jr. ad crashes the host website. She is really popular on the Internets.
It's an HP Pavilion dv1240us Notebook PC ... it's soooo small and cute ... it has everything that I wanted -- 100 GB hard drive, DVD/CD burner, lightweight and cute. It's perfect. Pink is the new Blog will be published on my new baby very soon. I'm toying with naming it ... Mylo comes to mind ... any other suggestions?
Tonight we help VLB move closer to our house. She's moving from Birmingham to Harper Woods (our backyard) so we'll be a bit bizzy tonight. Later.