Tuesday, April 18, 2006

DON'T SPEAK! Katie Pops

People.com is reporting that Katie Holmes has given birth to the demonspawn child of Tom Cruise today

Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise "joyously welcomed the arrival of a baby girl, Suri, today," Cruise's rep said in a statement after PEOPLE first broke the news Tuesday afternoon ... "The child weighed 7 pounds, 7 ounces and was 20 inches in length. Both mother and daughter are doing well." Suri was born in an L.A.-area hospital. Well I'll be damned ... that big fat pillow that Katie Holmes has had tucked underneath her shirts for the past few months finally fell out and, lo and behold, a baby was inside ... I'm still not sure how it got in there. The hatchling is female and has been named Suri Xenu L. Ronnette Holmes-Cruise. [photo via Defamer]

Looks like Tom will be dining on placenta for dinner tonight ... additionally Brooke Shields also gave birth today ... she, too, brought forth a baby girl and I'm fairly certain it was a regular, run-of-the-mill natural human birth. Says People mag: Brooke Shields gave birth to her second child, a daughter named Grier Hammond Henchy, on Tuesday, her rep tells PEOPLE exclusively. The baby, who was born in Los Angeles, weighed in at 7 lbs., and measured 20 inches.

Congrats to her and her baby girl Grier.

The future of our planet may depend on which baby girl will win the fight for humanity ... Suri vs. Grier -- heaven help us all!!!!