Wednesday, May 31, 2006

A Bathing Ape

I can't ... believe ... my eyes ... have I stared too long a pictures of Kimberly Stewart that my vision has been severely damaged? Have I fallen into a parallel universe? Is the world coming to a speedy end? What in the name of all things good and holy could cause such a momentous event such as ... the cleaning of Kevin Federline?!?

These pictures, courtesy of US Weekly magazine, are from K-Fed's upcoming appearance in Item magazine which is due to hit newsstands on June 5th. In the magazine Kevin waxes philosophical on fame and fatherhood: On his kids: "It's completely unfair when a child is brought into this world an now he's already looked at like a prince. My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don't have it easy with me. Period....My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, dammit." On his media conspiracy theory: "The same day Dick Cheney shoots someone, they've got me on the cover of MSN [Web site]. It's life they're diverting attention from what's really going on." On the public: "I should just put a bulls-eye on my back. If I stay home and take care of my wife and my kids, then I'm a loafer, not a good father. If I try to have a career, nobody thinks I am caring for my family. I can't win." Yep, that sounds about right ... Sean Preston is destined to work at Taco Bell, Kevin is (unfortch) more important than Dick Cheney and we, the public, will prolly never believe that he is a hard working husband and father.

But none of his blathering is at all relevant ... did you see these pictures?! Homeskillet is really trying to pull a fast one on us. Don't think for a moment that The Federline has retired his baggy shorts and wife-beater t-shirts. He may clean up and *gasp* shave for a magazine photo shoot but it takes more than a new suit and a dorky haircut to change this tiger's stripes. [Source, thanks Molly]

Britney ... don't be fooled ... stay on course with Perry the hot manny. We got your back, girl!