Okay ... so maybe there was some gossip news this past weekend ... but I'm telling you, I had a hard time thinking about Spederline, The Skeletwins^TM or any other celeb as I was floating around on the lake ... I'm a little sunburned, but extremely relaxed! But anyways ... let's get to it ...

Britney Spears started off her weekend by paying a visit to Kabbalah Centre in LA:


Perhaps she was praying for a successful weekend for all the activities she had planned ... and boy, was she busy. Spederline rounded up a group of friends and family and hit the high seas for a day of cruising around:


And while I had no problem forgetting all about Spederline while I was on vacation it seems that Britney could not forget about Pink is the new Blog while she was on her vacation. It is completely understandable. But anyways ... after a day of cruising, Britney was treated to a very posh baby shower -- and look at that ... Kevin Federline even dressed up for the occasion (you can always tell when K-Fed dresses up because he gets those idiotic corn rows put into his hair):


It looked like it was a gloriously class affair ... you know, except for the little incident where a paparazzo was shot in the leg with an air gun:


Yeah, how much you wanna bet it was K-Fed who whipped out his gun and popped the photog in the leg? You see, Kevin not only puts in his corn rows when he dresses up but he also does so when he goes 'coon huntin' so it's easy to see how he may have gotten confused. OF COURSE the photographer has already announced that he will be suing our dear Spederline -- well, it is understandable, the pellet was so deeply embedded into the guy's leg that it couldn't be removed! Lord, how would we entertain ourselves if it weren't for Britney and Kevin?

Jake Gyllenhaal also decided to partake of a leisurely summer activity (although no one was shot ... to the best of my knowledge). It seems that Jakey likes to play ball:


Yeah ... I like it when Jakey plays ball ... I'd like to play ball with him too!

OY! Paris² are still cavorting all over Italy showcasing their interesting sense of style:


Who dresses Paris (male)? They must be either dumb or blind ... or both. I can't believe that he thinks what he wears is stylish. Those Nike SHOX shoes do not go with those bondage pants ... and, I'm sorry, but those airbrushed jeans don't go with anything.

Meanwhile, Nicole Richie is looking quite the little fashion maven all by her lonesome:


The girl is still way too skinny but she is starting to dress well.

Tara Reid has managed to ensare a new man:


He should be realizing that that burning sensation that he's undoubtedly experiencing right about now is not a one time inflammation ... welcome to Tara's world, dude!

Kim Stewart has also got herself a new man:


I hope it was worth the $$$.

LOL! Check out this wax statue of Jessica Simpson as Daisy Duke in NY's Time Square:


They really managed to capture her essence.

Oh look, a wax statue of Victoria Beckham is spending some time in St. Tropez:


Oh wait ... that's really her ... I think ...

Here is the latest picture of Brandon Routh shooting a scene in Superman Returns, as Clark Kent:


He looks great! I think he'll be an awesome Superman ... I'm not sold on Kate Bosworth as Lois Lane but ... I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Here is the movie poster for the movie version of Rent:


It looks okay ... very much like the Broadway version poster ...

Sadly, I have to give a Peace the Spork Out to Peter Jennings, he died at the age of 67 yesterday in his NY home:


He announced that he had lung cancer back in April and unfortunately succumbed to its effects this weekend. He will be missed.

And finally, here are a few more pictures of Pink fans:


Holla!

Let's do the news:

• The Dukes of Hazzard was the #1 movie at the box office this weekend.
• Angelina Jolie moved in with Brad Pitt ALLEGEDLY because she is pregnant with his child. Um, right.
• Gross! Mischa Barton has reconciled with Brandon Davis.
• Double Gross! Sienna Miller has reconciled with Jude Law.
• It seems that Brat Camp doesn't work.
• Whatthe ... Brandon Flowers got hitched!
• Eddie Murphy's wife files for divorce.
• Usher and 50 Cent win big at the Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop Awards.
• Good Charlotte talk about their next album. A collabo with NIN would rule!
• Rosie O'Donnell is back on Broadway.
• Robert Smith (The Cure) to collaborate with Steven Severin (Siouxsie and the Banshees) again?

We had such an amazing time this past weekend ... my friends and I all adopted Hampton's Beach House Names to go along with our posh accommodations. The crew was made up of Kirsten (as KiKi), Mike (as Chip), Brandon (as Beaux), Ashley (as Babs), VLB Sarah (as Miffy), Sarah (as Tipper), Mark (as Chaz), Erik (as Tucker) and Me (as Thorne). To answer a few questions posed in the comments:

1. The board game we played was Cranium: Turbo Edition -- way fun! It comes with an electronic timer and buzzer ... once you hear the song it'll be in your head for days
2. I was extremely angry at Ashley/Babs for wearing those capris, so much so that I spat in her face, then slapped her face, then punched her in the neck and sent her home
3. The guy in the blue shirt is Mike/Chip (who is single), the guy in the yellow shirt is Erik/Tucker (my man, so step off)
4. Hot chub bear is Mark/Chaz, the lil cub is Brandon/Beaux
5. I never made it to the bookstore before we left for the cottage, but I do have an awesome list to refer to when next I go book shopping

I kinda need to go put lotion on my very red chest because it it driving me crazy ... I never knew that Mexicoids could sunburn ... it's not fun.

I'm out, y'all!!!

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