Saturday, April 01, 2006

I Have Seen The Light

up, y'all! I have some wonderful news ... as you are well aware, there have been some major changes in my life the past few weeks and months. I have been working towards a new outlook on life and am now ready to share this wonderful news with all of you. I'm afraid that some of you my not be happy with what I am about to announce but if you stick with me, if you come along for the ride with me, I think you, too, will find a clarity of purpose ... so much so that you may want to, nay, will want to join me on my new path.

From this day forward I am going to renounce my glib, vapid ways and embrace the tenets of the teachings of Scientology. Pink is the new Blog is totally dunzo! Now, I know that you may think this is a foolish pursuit but I can assure you that is not the case. In recent weeks, I have met some new friends (like David) who have been tutoring me on the beliefs of Scientology. They insisted that I keep their influence on me secret, at least until I was ready to start jumping on couches in a manner that would show the world that I have finally become enlightened. That day has come, y'all. When I decided to move to LA, I decided that I needed a change in my life ... I need to get to the birthplace of Scientology and reconstruct my life. I want nothing more than to find an impressionable young woman to mate with so that she can give birth to my child ... just as L. Ron Hubbard intended.

Please understand that this is my life now, one that embraces affinity, reality and communication ... won't you join me?

To celebrate this new, momentous change in my life I have gathered a bunch of friends to meet up with me at the Dorkwave danceparty tonight:

Les Enfants Terribles will be celebrating their 2-year anniversary tonight and I can't think of a better place to shed my former self and be reborn into my new self. It'll be a hoot! I'm out!