Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Go Shorty

Since David got into town late last night I was seriously thinking about taking the day off from blogging ... I was gonna say something like "It's my birthday, bitches ... I'm out" but thought better of it ... there is goss to be had ... so let's have it!

Here is a really nice picture of Britney Spears. It's an outtake from her recent, pre-black hair, pre-obsession with nudity, photoshoot:

The one thing that I would really love to get for my birthday would be The Old Britney. This picture reminds me of what she used to be like ... you know ... clean and untouched by The Federline. If someone could hook me up with that gift, I'd lurve you forever! [Source]

Uh oh ... it looks like there's trouble in paradise already ... it has only been one day since Jake Gyllenhaal decided to choose to pair up with Matthew McConaughey over Lance Armstrong and now it looks as if that ain't gonna happen. Check out this picture of Matthew not hanging out with Jakey ... he's hanging out ... shirtless ... with Lance:

WTF? Men are such dogs ... and Matthew is the worst dog of all to go breaking our Jakey poo's heart. I hope that Jake doesn't get all distraught and go do something cruiseazy. [thanks Doug]

Clerks 2 had its premiere in Hollywood last night and our favorite #2 Vampire Slayer was on hand for the event ... here are pictures of Eliza Dushku and Clerks 2 star Rosario Dawson from the red carpet:

They both look awesome! I love Eliza ... I wish she got more work, I miss seeing her in stuff (Wrong Turn does not count). Rosario is the coolest ... I am very excited to see how this sequel, 12 years in the making, will turn out. It'll be interesting to see if the storyline holds up. [Source, Source]

Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn are back with a whole new season of Project Runway and they were both on hand last night for the PR3 season premiere party ... here are some pics:

Heidi is cute but pregs or not I hate that sack that she's wearing ... if that thing came down the Project Runway runway I don't think it would've fared very well (my girl Nina Garcia would have lost her shizz). I'm shocked that Tim Gunn didn't slap her in the face for deigning to wear that thing in public. [Source]

Ms. Klum looks much nicer in the promo pictures for Project Runway 3:

The new season debuts tonight on Bravo at 10PM ... but don't get too excited, they're starting out with a "casting special" which prolly means that the good, juicy stuff won't get going until next week Wee! Get excited! The "casting special" is at 9PM, 1st ep is at 10PM! I am SO excited for this new season ... we'll see how many Santino wannabes come out of the woodwork. [Source]

Lindsay Lohan is a serious actress, y'all ... when she's working she's allllll business ... check out these great pictures of L. Lo going to "work":

Isn't she amazing? Her work ethic is to be admired and respected -- my hat is off to you, Linds! [Source]

When Lindsay isn't busy ... er ... working ... she likes to spend her time partying ... and when she's not partying, she's on the beach and when she's not on the beach, she's shopping and when she's not shopping ... um, I guess she likes posing with guitars?

Oh that's right ... Lindsay is a serious musician as well, where is my head. But anyways, Yay! to those pictures of Linds doing that thing to that guy in those pictures above. Boo! to the leggings and Boo! to the unbrushed hair. [Source]

Hey, did you know that Shannen Doherty was still alive? Yeah, me neither ... here are pictures of a not-dead Shannen at the Summer Television Critics Press Tour where she was, presumably, talking about her new show Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty which premieres on the Oxygen network on August 22:

I keed, I keed ... I actually love Shannen ... well, I really wanna like Shannen. She ruled as Brenda Walsh on Beverly Hills, 90210 and kicked ass as Pru on Charmed but then it's been all down hill from there ... especially when I found out about her conservative leanings. I may check out her new show to see how it turns out ... I mean, I really kinda wanna still like her. [Source]

Jessica Simpson celebrated her 26th birthday in Cabo San Lucas this past weekend and she brought along her new BFF Ken Paves to party with her ....

... er, at least he thought she brought him along to party with her ... it turns out that she actually brought him along to work on her hair whenever she wanted him to. See, this is why it's a bad idea to hang out with your servants, they might get the wrong idea and start believing that they're actually friends. [Source]

Katie Holmes has surfaced again and we've still not seen one shred of credible evidence that her "baby" Suri Holmes-Cruise actually exists ... here are new pictures of Katie looking R-O-U-G-H as H-E-L-L in Telluride, Colorado:

Who knew that Katie was actually such a good actress. This whole TomKat/"baby" SHAM! thing must be really hard work ... so far, she hasn't lost her shizz. I guess we'll see if she can follow thru and see this hoax to the end. [Source]

I'm getting tired of fake babies, let's enjoy a cute picture of a real baby ... look at how big little Moses Martin is getting already:

Gwyneth Paltrow is such a cute mom ... who needs stories about the rumored existence of fake babies when we can just entertain ourselves with the real deal. [Source]

Yesterday I posted a link to the story about the most recent Real World cast member arrest and today we get to enjoy her mug shot:

A cast member on MTV's "The Real World" was arraigned on a misdemeanor assault charge after police said she bit her boyfriend during a domestic dispute. Paula Ann Meronek, 25, allegedly bit her boyfriend several times when he refused to let her into their home early Sunday morning, police said. "I think it was an argument that led to one thing then another," said Cromwell Police Chief Anthony Salvatore. "He attempted to keep her from the house. It got physical and we were contacted." Meronek, who was arraigned Monday, was charged with third-degree assault, which carries a potential penalty of a year in prison. She is due back in court Aug. 11. Isn't it ironic that the Real World: Key West cast member who suffered from an eating disorder was arrested for biting her boyfriend? [Source]

You know, we don't get enough stories about former childhood actors who become embroiled in embarrassing scandals ... oh wait ... yes, we do ... well, we hardly ever hear about former Power Rangers who become embroiled in nude embarrassing scandals -- oh wait ... there was that one thing about the Red Power Ranger who became an amateur porn star. Oh what the hell, here is a picture that is supposedly of a topless Amy Jo Johnson who played the Pink Power Ranger ... check it out:

Click above to see the uncensored NSFW picture"

I suppose it could be her ... it really does look like Amy Jo but in this age of Photoshop magic, who really knows. It must be hard for former Power Rangers to find work, so I wouldn't be surprised if this picture is actually real. LOL ... enjoy! [Source]

And finally ... I am happy to announce that there is a God, Great Spirit, XENU or some other omnipotent deity out there ... check out this HORRIFYING picture of Kimberly Stewart flashing her crotch for all the world to see:

Thank all things good and holy, she was wearing underwear at the time. If I can't have Old Britney for my birthday, this is the next best thing. I'm totally serious, if we got a flash of Kim's nekkid vag (like the Paris Hilton flash we got a few days ago) I really think I would've put both of my eyes out with lit cigarettes. It is a Happy Birthday, indeed! [Source]

Les News:
I have no idea what we're doing today. Even tho it's my birthday, I think I'd rather just chill out and do nothing. I've been doing a lot of work-type stuff for the past week and I'm tired, y'all.

Thank you all so much for all the Birthday Lurve that many of you have been sending my way. My email and My Space inboxes are chock full of birthday wishes, thank you so much. I heart you all!

That is all ... I need to go back to bed now :)

I'm out.