Balaurgh ... after a very long day of traveling from Barcelona to Paris and finally to New York City yesterday it would be an understatement to say that I am beat. Traveling home from vacation always seems exponentially longer than traveling to your vacation destination. David and I arrived safe and sound last night and I managed to watch some TV before passing out. I think my internal clock is still a little messed up but things should return to normal in no time. Let's do the damn thing already ...

I suppose it was only a matter of time before something like this showed up on eBay but for those of you who might've been interested in purchasing Britney Spears' hair but couldn't afford the minimum $1 million dollar starting bid, this might be the next best thing -- the Bald Britney doll:


Photo credit: Splash News
Of all the Bald Britney dolls on eBay right now, this one is by far the coolest. Hello! It comes with a straight jacket! I know I shouldn't laugh but ... LOLz X 100! [Source]

ATTENTION: 24 SPOILER ALERT WARNING

Fortunately, we arrived home last night just in time to watch 24 and Heroes (I'm still behind on my Prison Break since I haven't watched last week's ep yet) which was about all I was in the mood for before passing out (er, that and devouring some delicious Thai take-out). Even tho last night's ep of 24 ended with a BANG! I found most of the ep pretty snooze-worthy:


Screencaptures courtesy of Twenty Four Online
Is anyone else out there bothered by the fact that the subterranean Presidential bunker (only to be used in the most dire emergencies) comes complete with extra, unmonitored empty rooms so that potential bad guys will have a place to do their work unbothered? I mean ... c'mon! I can buy pretty much everything that they throw at me on 24 but this glaring plot hole is just too hard to overlook. Also, there is NO WAY those chemicals would've made it past security ... especially with the weak-ass security that is used at the subterranean Presidential bunker. I can't take a bottle of Coca-Cola thru the airport security checkpoints but an assassin can get chemical explosives thru without incident. Boo! Ugh ... it's just one of those things you have to just accept in the world of 24. I am having a hard time believing that ex-President/traitor Charles Logan is a good guy now. There is something about him that stinks of untrustworthiness. I am also having a hard time with Morris -- he irks me to death. I realize that CTU is short-handed sometimes but putting a man who was just tortured 2 hours ago back to work on such important tasks is just plain stupid. I'm just dumbfounded how Chloe can keep looking the other way when it comes to his alcoholism. If her data streams are out of sync by 2 nano-nodes she throws a hissy fit but her drunk ex-husband, who could possibly get her ass fired, can get away with murder. I'm totally not feeling emo Chloe at all. Bring back the jaded, awkward, uncompromising Chloe already! And for the life of me, I don't know why anyone in the Palmer family still wants to be President -- they can hardly go a season without someone trying to kill them for one reason or another. I doubt that President Wayne Palmer will die any time soon (at least, I hope he doesn't) but still ... it all seems like more hassle than it's worth. [Source]

ATTENTION: Heroes SPOILER ALERT WARNING

Contrary to 24, I found last night's ep of Heroes very engaging and intense. I'm not exactly sure how I feel about what was learned from last night's ep (or at least, what I *think* was learned from last night's ep) but I am thoroughly enjoying where the story is taking me:


Now I'm not sure how much I like the idea that Mr. Bennett, the supposed lead henchman for the bad guys, might actually turn out to be a good guy. I'm not surprised that he ended up having some sort of a conscience but didn't it seem like the work he was doing for "The Company" wasn't as evil as we were led to believe? Maybe I'm misreading it all but he didn't seem as smarmy as he has in all the previous episodes. Obvs, his love for Claire has softened his heart but why the seemingly 180 degree turn against The Company? It's nice to see how the Invisible Guy fits in with everything ... and I was very surprised to see that Hiro's father is also involved with The Company -- but I didn't get the feeling that he knew/knows that his son has super powers as well. I'm sure that info will come in time. The show seems to be really intensifying the action ... things should be progressing very quickly from here on out -- at least, that's how it feels. Next week we finally get to meet Linderman (btw, I think it's *brilliant* that the producers have kept him hidden for this long) and something is supposed to happen that "will change everything" again. I can't wait ... this show has yet to disappoint ... I love it! [Source]

In my haste yesterday morning, I really didn't have the time to proclaim my congratulations to any of the Academy Award winners other than Jennifer Hudson (WOOT!) ... I am so happy that Al Gore/An Inconvenient Truth (Documentary), Forest Whitaker (Best Actor), Pan's Labyrinth (Cinematography, Art Direction, Make-up) and Marie Antoinette (Costume Design) all won awards. I am also happy that Helen Mirren won the award for Best Actress for her remarkable portrayal of Queen Elizabeth II in The Queen (which I got to watch on the plane ride home yesterday for the second time). Apparently, Queen Elizabeth herself was pleased that Helen won. I have to say that I was aghast to learn that Helen attended the Oscars sans underwear, but seeing these pictures of Helen stuffing her face with a burger afterwards more than makes up for my aghastness:


I am reminded of Hilary Swank's late-night burger fest after she won her second Academy Award a couple of years ago. I gotta say ... Helen Mirren seems like a really cool chick. I am so happy that she's finally getting all this attention. She most definitely rules. [Source]

So after the Oscars came the parties ... and the biggest party of the night every year is the Vanity Fair Oscar Party. Here are a few pics of some beautiful (and maybe not quite so beautiful) people partaking of the festivities:


Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi made a very handsome couple, as did Natalie Maines and Keith Urban. Al Gore looked great with his Oscar and Aaron Eckhart looked great all by his hot-self. It should come as no surprise that I wasn't impressed with Katie Holmes or Tom Cruise but Beyonce really looked amazing. She's so lucky they let her come to this party (maybe J. Hud put her on the list) otherwise we might've missed out on her exposed cleavage. [Source]

Sidebar: I finally got to watch Jennifer Hudson's acceptance speech this morning and I am shocked at how horrible it was. You mean to tell me that after months and months of preparation for the moment she would win (and I don't buy for a second that she didn't think she would win) she never wrote down an acceptance speech? C'mon girl ... you're lucky you're talented ;)

PS: Jennifer Holliday needs to stop trying so hard. You can sing, we get it, Hah Hah! Ah Ah Ah!

Anyways ... I think we now know why Madonna decided to haul her cookies all the way to the West Coast for the Oscars this year ... she merely wanted to get into as many pictures at the Vanity Fair party as possible:


LOL ... I bet now she's thrilled that she has all these new pictures with celebs to add to her My Space profile. [Source]

Well now ... look what we have here ... it seems that newly single Ryan Reynolds has found a new friend in Jessica Biel:


I suppose it's possible that the two of them were merely hanging out as friends but ... well ... you know how these things get started. First thing you know, he's picking his teeth in front of her and the next thing will be that they're engaged. The make a pretty cute couple ... which is a bummer, I'm sure, for Alanis Morrissette. [Source]

Even I have to admit that Victoria Beckham looked FIERCE in the white dress she wore on Oscar night (including the 14th Annual Elton John AIDS Foundation Oscar Party and the Vanity Fair party) ...


Photo credit: Splash News
... but I am a bit surprised to find that she spent Monday afternoon skulking around the trash bins, presumably on her way to shop or something. Gross. [Source]

Here are a couple of *stunning* pictures of Mary Lynn Rajskub at the Costume Designer's Guild Awards last week:


While Emo Chloe on 24 gets a rating of Poop Sandwich from me, Hot Chloe gets 2 enthusiastic thumbs up. Love it! [Source]

Here are a couple new pictures of sisters Zahara and Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt hanging out together in their stroller as their grandmother takes them out for a walk in New Orleans:


Photo credit: Splash News
Aren't these little girls just the most precious things you've ever seen? [Source]

The Olsen Twins have descended upon Paris, France (both wrapped in disgusting fur coats) which isn't very interesting at all. What is interesting is that Mary Kate Olsen was asked to contribute a piece for the New York Times about her favorite purse:


Photo credit: Splash News
I have a large, red quilted Chanel bag that I borrowed from my sister Ashley. I wore it to an event and never gave it back. Luckily, she's moved on to another bag, so I'm safe for now. I'm not quite sure how many bags I have, but let's just say I have a few. When I find a bag I like, I tend to wear it to death until I become obsessed with another one. This probably happens three to five times a year. But I always come back to the Chanel. The size isn't overwhelming, and it has enough subtle detail to keep it interesting.

I also have the smaller version in blue and in white, but the red is definitely my favorite. I don't have a stylist — I'd rather just do my own thing and put together my own outfits. The chain-handle bag is the perfect accent to almost any combination I come up with. I look at everything with a designer's eye, but I wouldn't change a thing about this bag. I think that's why it's a true classic.

Okay ... so "interesting" is a bit of a stretch ... but I am surprised that the NYT would even care about something so trivial. It's not even well-written. Were I grading this in 8th grade composition, I'd have to give it a C+ at best. Tho, it is a relief to finally know what sort of purse goes well with ripped leggings and fugly-ass oversized shoes. [Source]

Jake Gyllenhaal paid a little visit to The Late Show with David Letterman this week to promote his new movie Zodiac (his first since Brokeback Mountain):


Photo credit: Splash News
Click HERE to watch his appearance just in case you missed it live (like I did). He's just cute. That is all. [Source]

This week, Foxy Brown called together a press conference at a Brooklyn, NY church in order to discuss her latest arrest for assault, to proclaim her innocence and to reveal that it was she who was assaulted. Now, Foxy Brown doesn't call many press conferences so I figured it was worth paying attention to:


Photo credit: Splash News
The 27-year-old rapper said she was dragged half-naked out of the store's restroom and then picked on by police officers because she is black. "I was exposed from the waist down on the toilet," she said Monday at Brown Memorial Baptist Church in the Clinton Hill neighborhood. "The only crime I'm guilty of is being a young black woman," Brown said. Brown, whose real name is Inga Marchand, could face jail time if a judge decides she violated probation after she got in trouble for hitting two manicurists with a cellphone in 2004. She has to go back in front of the Manhattan judge this week. Hmm ... if this is true then it is truly horrible that she was treated in such a way by the police. BUT, I think her story would have more merit if it didn't sound like it was lifted from that episode on The Real World: Los Angeles where David dragged Tammy "half-nekkid" in front of the cameras ("It wasn't not funny, David!"). [Source]

Foxy wasn't the only female rapper to hold a press conference recently, Lil' Kim had a press conference of her own to discuss her involvement with the Children Uniting Nations organization:


And you should know that anything that Lil' Kim does, Foxy Brown will do a short time after. [Source]

Eli Roth has unveiled a new teaser poster for his new movie Hostel II:


Apparently, boobs and decapitation (in this case, Bijou Phillips' boobs and severed head) are the recipe for fine, family-going movie fun. Head on over to Eli's official My Space profile to see the uncensored teaser poser. [Source]

And finally, in other new movie news, Rob Zombie has unveiled the first movie poster for his remake of the horror classic movie Halloween:


Personally, I highly doubt any remake will ever be as good as the original but I'm willing to give Mr. Zombie the benefit of the doubt. I'm interested already. [Source]

Les News:

• Ghost Rider was, once again, the #1 movie at the box office this past weekend.
• JJ Abrams will direct the next Star Trek movie.
• How's this for type-casting ... Matthew McConaughey will star in a movie called Surfer Dude.
• Bobby Brown arrested again ... this time while watching his daugther perform at a cheerleading competition. OOPS! The poor dear can't afford to bail himself out.
• Post-partum probs for Britney Spears?
• Aaron Eckhart talks up his role as Harvey Dent/Two Face in The Dark Knight.
• Is Hugh Hefner ready to make an honest woman out of his long-time girlfriend (1 of 3) Holly Madison?
• Meet the newest Calvin Klein underwear model.
• Click HERE to watch Justin Timberlake have sex with Christina Ricci.
• Is it me or does it look like Jenna Jameson's boobs are sucking the meat out of her head?
• Click HERE to meet the new love of Reese Witherspoon's life.
• Boo-freakin'-hoo. Get over it, guys.
• Chilli of TLC is 36, Grant Show is 45 and Elizabeth Taylor is 75 years old today. Click HERE to see who else is celebrating a birthday today.
• Is THIS Jesus' final resting place?
• Oliver Stone promises that the third cut of his movie Alexander is the final cut of his movie Alexander.
• Beside You In Time by Nine Inch Nails is in stores today.

OY! So yeah ... I'm beat ... I think I need to spend some more time in an unconscious state so I'm gonna jet. Have yourself a happy Tuesday! I'm out.

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