Friday, July 07, 2006

Keep On Truckin'

Howdy, y'all! I'm coming to you from deep in America's Heartland. Right now I'm at a Super 8 in Omaha, Nebraska. The roadtrip is coming along nicely ... deets at the end of this post.

So! Finally! Now we know where Jake Gyllenhaal picked up that nasty habit of wearing spandex! I knew that my Jakey poo had to have been swayed by some malicious, evil influence. He would never deign to make such a horrid fashion choice on his own ... at long last, the culprit has been revealed:

Photo credit: X-17

Lance Armstrong! How dare you?! So you're the one responsible for getting Jake and all his bizznazz tucked away, super-snug, into those terrible looking spandex thingies. Hmmm ... come to think about it, I don't think I would mind the menial task of tucking away Jakey's bizznazz inside those tight shorts. NO! NO! I mustn't be swayed ... spandex are evil! Ahhhh! [Source]

At any rate, Lance and Jake make a cute couple ... of bike riders ... yeah, a cute couple of bike riders. Matthew McConaughey was hanging out with them as well, but I didn't post any pics of him ... why spoil such a romantical moment for Jake and Lance?

Well what have we here? It looks like Lindsay Lohan got a lot of great gifts this year for her 20th birthday ... chief among them, a new boy to play with:

Photo credit: X-17

The dude in these pictures that Linds is gettin' all cozy with is Harry Morton -- the 25-year-old owner of the new Pink Taco restaurant chain. So lemme get this straight ... Lindsay <3s Pink Taco and Harry <3s Firecrotch? Sounds like a match made in heaven ... but please L. Lo, don't hurt him. [Source]

Alert the animal activists! Paris Hilton is up to her old tricks again! Having had her fill of chihuahuas (remember Tinkerbell and Bambi?) and kinkajous (remember Baby Luv?), Paris is moving on to the torture and exploitation of other animals:

Photo credit: X-17

Meet Madison, Paris Hilton's newest toy. I'm sure we can expect to see this gorgeous kitty get shoved into various designer handbags for a few weeks before it gets discarded and thrown aside. Hey, didn't Mischa Barton just pick up a kitty? Are pure-bred cats the must have fashion accessory for summer '06? [Source]

Yikes! Run for the hills! It looks like the real birth mother of Suri Holmes-Cruise has been uncovered ... at the Chanel fashion show at Paris Fashion Week:

Um, does Cher's face even capable of moving anymore? Has Cher always been an alien? Does this explain her longevity? [Source]

Victoria Beckham seems to be taking the pain of her husband's World Cup loss very well these days ... she's back to wearing her hideous capris and is rockin' a pretty sweet Prada bag:

It looks like her tears have long since dried up. She is such a trooper, I marvel at her fortitude of strength. I'm sure it wasn't easy for her to get back to all that shopping and stuff after dealing wish such a crushing travesty. See ... this is why robots make the best celebrities. [Source]

Er ... Carmen Electra really needs to check herself before she goes out in public where other people can see her:

Do we really need to see her booty stain so early in the morning? LOL! She's itching up front, leaking out back ... I'm pretty sure any chance at breakfast is out of the question at this point. [Source]

Pocahontas and her twin sister Ashley Olsen were on hand to support their twin BFFs Dylan and Cole Sprouse at the launch of their new magazine titled Code:

I'm sorry ... I mistakenly said that the girl wearing the headband is Pocahontas ... it's actually Stevie Nicks after being embalmed with botox. LOL. To be totally serious for a second, tho, it must be said that Mary Kate Olsen is completely and entirely ridiculous. [Source]

Check out these fun and not at all staged, faked, fabricated, fraudulent or phony pictures of Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag from MTV's The Hills doing a little "shopping" at Fred Segal:

Unlike their "reality" show, these pictures show the candid familial relationship that the girls enjoy when they are not in front of the cameras ... er, the video cameras, that is. [Source]

Check out this amazing new technicolor promo picture of the Scissor Sisters courtesy of Arjan Writes:

The Sisters are getting ready to release their sophomore album upon the world and it looks like they got themselves all dolled up in their best outfits ... which look like they were stolen from the closets of ABBA and Siegfried & Roy. They sure look purdy ... their new album Ta-Dah is set for release on September 19th. Check out all the revamping they did at their official website. [Source]

And finally, the new Justin Timberlake single SexyBack was leaked to the InterWeb yesterday afternoon, right around the time that Sarah and I were driving thru the great state of Illinois. A few Pink readers sent me the MP3 for review and I have to admit ... I really like it:

It's been awhile since the last record," Timberlake told MTV News in Paris on Thursday (July 6). "And I just wanted to try something new" ... "I sort of had an idea in mind where I wanted to go," he said, "and it turned out that I went completely left of that. But that's what music should do" ... Timberlake modeled himself after David Bowie and Prince, and describes "SexyBack" as Bowie and David Byrne covering James Brown's "Sex Machine." "That's the closest I could come," he said. "That's all of my influences for that song." "SexyBack" doesn't qualify as rock or straight funk -- and for now, Timberlake's happy with the description "club funk." Head on over to or Justin's official My Space page to hear the song for yourself (if you haven't already). Sure this electroclashy tune is about 4 years behind the Electroclash trend but I still likes it. It's absolutely what I wasn't expecting to come from JT but it's a nice surprise. I dig it ... it's much better than Cry Me River. Sure it sounds weird compared to the other stuff on the radio right now but, I'm telling you, this song is going to be huge in the clubs. [Source]

So ... we're about 800 miles into our roadtrip from Detroit to LA. Here are a few pictures from our trip so far:

Yesterday was a pretty long day but it wasn't the unbearable torture I thought it would be. We drove thru Michigan, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa and slept last night here in Nebraska. We've been making pretty good time ... the only snag was a 2-hour traffic jam due to construction near Chicago ... let me tell you, it was not fun. If it weren't for the Sirius satellite radio station Big 80's, I think we would've offed ourselves right there.

Today will be another long day ... and we better get to it. Thank you all for your awesome comments, messages and emails. Your support has been very appreciated. I <3 you all!

I'm out.