Saturday, December 29, 2007

The Year In Britney

I don't think any celeb had as crazy a year, ever, like Britney Spears did in 2007. From arrests, to freakouts, to rehab, to daily outings where the paparazzi were able to photograph every waking moment, Britney was all over the place this year. It was hard wading thru all the mess to pick out the most memorable moments but I did my best ... and so, here is my look back at the year that was Britney Spears:

Britney Spears rang in the New Year at Pure in Las Vegas and David and I were there with her ... there were reports that she got so drunk that she passed out and had to be carried out of the club but we didn't see any of that. All we saw was a happy Britney celebrating the New Year ... in a really bad wig:

She began dating a model named Isaac Cohen who was really cute but also really temporary:

The world got our first look at Jayden James early in '07. Brit Brit managed to keep him out of sight for the first few months of his life which sparked rumors that there was something wrong with him:

Britney did her best to be the all the mommy she could be:

But in the end, she couldn't keep it together enough to take care of herself. In February, she checked herself into rehab:

Then she checked herself right out ... continued to spiral downward and then had a major freakout where she ended up shaving her hair off in plain sight of anyone who wanted to watch:

Naturally, Britney's shaved off hair immediately went on the auction block:

Then came the cavalcade of wigs:

And then another, longer stint in rehab. Threatened by her former husband, Britney checked into the Promises Rehab Facility so that she wouldn't lose custody of her children:

Bald Britney became quite a hot item for folks to try and make money with:

But rehab couldn't contain our dear Britney, after her stint, she was out on the streets again:

In March, Britney's marriage to Kevin Federline was finalized:

Britney thought it would be wise to get a new tattoo on her wrist:

She also thought it would be wise to fire her manager, Larry Rudolph, once again:

Britney wanted to get back to performing so she put togther a little group called The M+Ms and did a small tour at a few House of Blues venues in SoCal, Las Vegas and Miami:

Of course she brought the drama with her wherever she went ... like the time she stormed off a plane because it didn't have leather seats:

Britney bought herself a new chihuahua ... but it was a Yorkie named London that ended up winning her heart by year's end:

Britney agreed to do a photoshoot and interview for OK! magazine -- which of course meant she had to have a meltdown right in front of the reporter:

Britney still did her best to take care of her babies ... she hired a bodyguard who would go to any lengths to protect her children:

But what she really needed was someone to protect her from herself:

Everyone started worrying about the safety of her sons:

Because she seemed like a woman out of control ...

... who could sometimes manage to pull herself together when the need arose:

Kevin Federline thought it was the perfect to time to try and get more custody of their two sons and the Spederline lawyers started clashing in family court:

Her crazy actions began to be scrutinized so that they could be used against her:

Unphased, Britney went about her normal every day life ... she hooked up with Criss Angel and rumors started to swirl that she was preparing to do a big performance:

And sure enough, Britney Spears opened the 2007 MTV Video Music Awards -- unfortch, her lackluster performance was a huge disappointment to every.single.person.on.Earth:

To make matters worse, Britney ended up flashing her naked crotch AGAIN on the night of the VMAs about an hour after Sarah Silverman made a joke about her crotch-flashing on the VMA stage ... which just added insult to injury:

Even Tori Amos took notice of Britney's crazy antics ... she performed a short improv song about Britney on the OZ leg of her American Doll Posse Tour ... it was called When A Star Falls Down and featured the line "Britney they set you up":

Still ... Britney solidered on. She released a new song called Gimme More which was a huge hit across the board:

And she released a new perfume called Believe:

Her song Gimme More went straight to #1 on iTunes:

Britney Spears became the focus of an art show that featured pieces that were inspired by the former popstar:

And, in a crushing blow, she finally lost primary custody of her children:

She released a video for Gimme More that was well-recieved initially but ended up proving disappointing in the long run:

Thru it all, she kept up her constant love affiar with gas stations:

She released an amazing album titled Blackout which almost debuted at #1 (it came in at #2 under The Eagles) ... sadly, it's cover artwork was just a recycled photo that was used over and over and over again:

Britney started plumping her lips:

Then she started running over photogs:

Her poor driving skills ended up getting her arrested ... she did a hit and run that came back to haunt her:

Folks began to worry that she might meet an early end:

By comparison, Kevin Federline started looking much better in the public eye ... Details magazine put him on their cover for being a "good father":

Britney did manage to live long enough to celebrate her 26th birthday:

Then she started stealing:

Then she released a (much better) music video for her second single Piece of Me:

By year's end, Britney's influence even extended to her little 16-year old sister Jamie-Lynn Spears who announced that she was pregs on the cover of OK! magazine:

And so, Britney ends the year looking for comfort wherever she can find it ... like in the arms of one of the photographers who spent most of the year following her around town:

Who knows what 2008 has in store for Britney Spears. It is my sincere hope that it turns out to be a better year for her ... I fear she might not be able to successfully make it thru another year quite like 2007.