Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Don't F*ck With Chloe
Perhaps the theory is that she will look better in comparison. Britney, there is no need ... whether you're wearing a night gown or sweats with grease stains you will still have immutable beauty. Just make sure you keep your shoes on, okay?
It looks like she did some shopping at Circuit City ... you wanna bet she went to pick up Meet The Fockers?
Did you know that Britney Spears did Playboy in Japan?
Unfortch (or fortch, depending on how you look at it) she did not pose nude. Mark my words though, I bet we will see the day that Britney Spears drops her clothing for the pages of Playboy magazine. [Thanks Cassie for sending me the picture; via UBritney.com]
ATTENTION: 24 SPOILER WARNING
OMG OMG OMG ... Please tell me you watched 24 last night!!! Of course it was another great episode. President Logan's inaptitude knows NO BOUNDS as he causes Jack Baur to let Marwan escape ... again! How many times in one day can someone get cornered and then escape capture? Marwan is up to 4 times ... I believe. Anyways, thank God the new President decided to let President Palmer take over with the decision-making. Now, shit's gonna get done. And can we talk about the sexual tension between Edgar and Chloe ... damn, those two bitch-fight back and forth so much ... you know they are going to knock boots like mothereffers as soon as this day is over. And YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT UP to my girl Chloe for kicking major ass as the episode came to an end:
When Chloe got sent into the field (to recover the computer of one of the terrorists) I thought for sure that this was how she was going to meet her end ... once and for all. I was sure she was going to be killed. OH HELLZ NO ... Chloe ain't goin' out like that. You give her a semi-automatic and she is going to blow up some asses, y'all! I was howlin' like a banshee as she jumped out of that car and started blowing away that assassin ... she pumped his ass full of lead, y'alls!
That's my girl! There are only 5 more hours left in this season's day ... I can't wait to see how it all ends!!!
Let's move on ... Awwww, Jesse Metcalf has the cutest dog:
And look, he just got another dog:
Jesse, Jesse, Jesse ... what the hell are you doing? You're young and new on the scene so I can forgive your ignorance ... but if I were you I'd get as far away from Tara Reid as possible. But if you do decide to keep associating with her ... well ... it was nice knowing you.
Hey Nicole Richie, do you know where your fiancee is?
Honey, if you follow your nose towards the overpowering stank smell then you'll find him ... about to be devoured by Tara Reid. See Jesse, she's just looking for penis ... RUN MAN, RUN!
Phew! It seems that Nicole was able to save fiancee Adam Goldstein from the clutches of the Wicked Skank of the West:
But what is with that hat? It looks like a planter. But Nicole Richie has bigger problems then her, sometimes, ugly wardrobe:
She is all skin and bones! She is literally disappearing before our eyes. I really hope she gains some weight ... she can look stunning as long as her rib cage and shoulder blades aren't jutting thru her skin.
Awww ... we haven't seen Paris Hilton out with new pooch Bambi in a while:
Say what you will about Paris, but that dog is CUTE!
Lindsay Lohan went out on the town, hamming it up for the paparazzi:
The boy she's with looks familiar but I can't remember where I know him from ... anyone? UPDATE: Both Sarah L. and Kimberly emailed me to tell me that the guy with L. Lo is none other than TALAN from MTV's Laguna Beach!!! HOLY CRAP!!! They are so right:
I knew I knew him ... wow ... that is so ... weird!
Anyways, when Lindsay isn't keeping little boys out past their curfews she's tooling around town in her bitchin' wheels:
The car is hot ... the smoking is not. Cut it out Lindsay, that's an order.
Angelina Jolie, fresh from her African jaunt with "new friend" Brad Pitt, showed up in New York ... looking like the cat that ate the canary:
Look at her ... she is thrilled that those pictures of the two of them have been released. Well, I hope karma is kind to her ... stealing a husband is so not cool. But if you're gonna steal a husband ... you might as well go for the cream of the crop.
Jude Law has some cute-ass kids:
I am not a huge Jude Law fan but I have to admit, he looks really damn cute in these pictures.
Denise Richards, obviously still insane from her break-up with hubby Charlie Sheen, thought it would be a good idea to go out in public wearing this outfit:
EGADS woman! What the hell is wrong with you?!
Not quite as bad (but close) is Uma Thurman in this getup:
Maybe they are both going through some "mother thing"? They spend so much time worrying about their children that they don't care what they look like? Oi Vey! Ladies, get thee to a stylist ASAP!
Doesn't this weird picture of Simon Cowell, his girlfriend and Paula Abdul look Photoshopped?
It is not a manipulated picture ... but it is weird. What a strange group of people ... just out ... shopping. That settles it, Paula is on drugs.
Aww look, (allegedly) newly engaged Bennifer 2.0 are all cute and cuddly in the bushes:
Jennifer Garner is so pretty ... she makes Ben Affleck look better. It must be love.
Mary-Kate Olsen, always the maven of haute couture, is trying out the Unibomber look:
Who is she trying to fool? Does she actually think that people don't know who she is? The toothpick legs are a dead giveaway. Nice try, M-K.
Kelly Osbourne showed up at MisShapes this past Saturday night:
I hear she did an amazing job as DJ ... I always miss the fun stuff :(
One of The Dixie Chicks just hatched these adorable twins and posted this picture on their official website:
I'm such a sucker for cute babies ... sooooo cute!
And finally, here is a scan of the News of the World cover that featured the Beckham/Nanny story:
I'm just posting for posterity's sake ... thanks to Danielle for the heads up.
The News:
- Michael Jackson's ex-wife, Debbie Rowe, is going to take the stand. I can't wait to hear what she has to say. In other news, MJ needs money fast ... he may have to sell the Beatles catalog to keep from going broke.
- Forget Britney's EPT pregnancy test stick, anyone want to buy me her New York City apartment? I'll love you forever.
- Shar Jackson is "cool" with Britney and Kevin's happy life. Yeah, riiiiight.
- Movies On MTV has the new Batman Begins trailer HERE. Me likey, likey.
- Shrek 2's Puss In Boots to get his own movie ... and Madonna is going to be in it?! Aw, and it had such potential to be a hit.
- Is the next season of Survivor headed for Peru?
- What do you think ... will it be Summer or will it be George Lucas? [via Egotastic]
- THIS is the stupidest thing I've ever read.
- Pink is the new Business Casual. [thanks Jeff!]
- Paris (female) doesn't want you to see her living with Paris (male) in their new love nest. She wants sole control over the exclusive sex tape that is sure to follow.
- Ashlee Simpson sure cries a lot. I love her, you know I do, but I laughed my ass off when I watched this episode of Punk'd.
- Timmy Ray lives in the magical land of the giant A&F models. Must be nice.
- Someone should send THIS ARTICLE to Jesse Metcalf ... and maybe David Beckham.
- Oh Canadian!
- Women ... stay indoors ... Pat O'Brien is on the loose again.
- Trent Reznor decided it was time to play it safe. Man, he is getting old.
- It's too bad for Jennifer Aniston that Courtney Cox is already married.
- Wanna buy a guy?
- Even after SW:EP III is released there will be more Jedi stuff to look forward to watching.
- Tammy Faye sans her trademark eyelashes? This must be first sign of the apocalypse! The end is surely nigh!
- Marvel Comics salutes the military.
- Carnie Wilson gives birth. I WILL NOT MAKE A JOKE.
- Garbage thinks they're soooo sneaky.
- GWB has a new love in his life? [via Proceed At Your Own Risk]
Let's keep on having fun, y'all!
Tonight Kirsten and I are going to see Juliette and the Licks play the Magic Stick.
I hope to have tons of pix to share tomorrow.
I'm out.
[Permalink]