Get ready to puke into your shoes -- I now present to you the newly engaged TomKat:


They are so gross ... So contrived ... So EW! I can't believe how insane they are ... Tom Cruise used to be normal ... Katie Holmes used to be nonexistent ... now look at them. Oi!!! Here is a picture that is more true to what exactly is going on:


This picture comes from The Gallery of the Absurd. Seriously, one of my favorite sites ... the pictures are truly stunning -- and totally right on. If you have not visited that site yet go do it NOW!

Lindsay Lohan, all orange-a-glowy, paid a visit to The Tonight Show. She thought it would be really funny to do "The Cruise" and jump up on the couches:


Wasn't that so funny ... like 2 weeks ago? Ah, L. Lo ... you really REALLY need to lay off the fake tanner ... you really look totally ridiculous.

Hilary Duff is spending some time in NYC this weekend. Here she is with hipster extraoridnare Greg K:


Greg K. is responsible for the überhip weekly NYC danceparty known as MisShapes. I wonder what decadent and utterly fabulous misadventures these 2 will get themselves into? Stay tuned.

Brandon Routh and Kate Bosworth are on the cover of this week's Entertainment Weekly:


They are the stars of the new Superman movie Superman Returns. Click HERE to read the article.

Paris² spent another day doing what they do best ... shopping:


Note the ugly ring that Paris (female) is wearing. I hope that's not the engagement ring she decided to keep. It's fugly. Also note how Paris (female) has enlisted Paris (male) and her sister Nicky to carry her bags. Loves it!

Michelle Trachtenberg is just one hot chick:


What a cutie!

Elijah Wood was seen doing his best Harry Potter impersonation at a recent movie premiere:


I think he's really got it down.

Cameron Diaz went out for a little bit of surf time:


From this distance she looks pretty good. I think Cameron looks best from a little distance. Full-on Monet, y'all.

And finally, Madonna has alerted her fans (and by "fans" I mean paying members of her fanclub) regarding news of her new documentary and album:


Apparently, her new documentary is supposed to be in the vein of her infamous Truth or Dare documentary and her new album is supposedly a dance record. Check out Madonna.com for as much "free" information you can glean. The paid information should be circulating soon.

And now, the news:

• "Rejoice you line of struggling life from eons gone, for here again, your track is sped and winged into a future fate by this, the union of a man and woman, crossing this bridge, whose child shall pace a future span." This is what you might here at TomKat's wedding. Click HERE to learn more.
• Additionally, it seems that Tom Cruise is a cheapskate.
• Paris² is planning 2 weddings. Does that mean a Wedding²?
• One of the jurors in the Michael Jackson trial showed up at his victory party. Hmm ...
• Leonardo DiCaprio got his head split open by a bottle at a party at Rick Solomon's house.
• Bob Dylan is headlining a concert for Amazon.com's 10th anniversary next month.
• Avril Lavigne tries to explain away her alcoholism.
• Are you ready for the Pope John Paul, II biopic?
• NIN introduce the spiral.
• towleroad digs up a hermaphrodite crab ... and some hot dudes in Hawaii -- naturally!
• Oh my gawd.

So okay, last night our kickball team, Phil Collins, rocked BALLS -- literally! We won the 2 games we played against our kickball opponents, the Toejammers. I have to admit that I played like absolute crap! I didn't do very well in the outfield and I managed to injure a groin muscle (not to worry, it's not bad but I had a hard time running bases). Also we had 2 of our players pull out of the games because of injuries (Ann and Sam both hurt their legs). Thankfully, we had some kickass people to pick up the slack. Natalie was on hand to sub last night ... in her first game EVER she played first base and just totally ruled in that position! I had to dub her the Kickball Queen for stepping up and helping out:


Needless to say, she's not a sub anymore ... we signed her up to play on the team from now on! Stephanie is also a new player and in her first game she pitched for us! She also totally stepped up, held her own and helped us win 2 victories. The score was 11-3 in the first game and 8-2 in the second game. Even with fewer players (and some of us all gimpy) we still managed to dominate.

Phil Collins, y'all! Hellz yeah!!

Today I have a surprise for Erik so that should be fun ... tonight I have work to do. I'm working on a piece for a local magazine (details on that soon) and I want to make sure it comes out perfectly. Hope you're having a great weekend!

Holla!

[Permalink]