Thursday, September 22, 2005

A Hatch Made In Hell

This one's gonna be a looong one ... hope you like ...

It's been an agonizing week since Britney Spears gave birth to her baby boy, Sean Preston, and still NO PICTURES! I'm actually not even surprised ... she's had a lot of time to plan her disappearance so I'm sure things are just going just the way she planned. We will not see that baby until the publication that she sold the first pictures to publishes those pictures ... In the meantime, let's check out pictures of the inside of Britney and Kevin's newly remodeled mansion:

Yeah, it's pretty much the tackiest thing I've ever seen ... I'm very sad to know that she has the same decorating tastes as Bobby Trendy. Oh, Britney!

Here are a few screencaps of the new TV commercial for Fantasy Britney Spears:

Yes, if Kevin Federline actually looked like the dude in this commercial then I wouldn't be giving her so much grief. Oh, Britney!


Yay! I am finally able to bring back my TV show recap portion of the blog! I try to do my best and alert readers to the fact that I am about to discuss TV shows that aired the previous night ... this does not account for those of you who live outside of the US because sometimes US TV shows are shown in other countries months later, so read at your own risk. I don't discuss every show I watch ... but Lost, 24 and Charmed are my faves to recap.

So ... OMG ... please tell me you were able to watch the season 2 premiere of Lost!!! WE FINALLY KNOW WHAT'S IN THE HATCH ...

Okay ... so we know that some dude named "Desmond" is the secret down in the hatch ... he seems to live fairly comfortably with electricity, running water and access to a computer inside, what seems to be, The Epcot Center. Does he read Pink is the new Blog? Duhvs, of course he does! I knew that Desmond was the guy down the hatch when Jack met him at the stadium. Okay, so Desmond told Jack that he was training for a race around the world ... AND he chastised Jack for not believing in miracles (and then, miraculously, Jack's patient Sara became unparalyzed). Jack met Desmond right at the time that Jack met his fiancé Sara (did Jack and Sara get married for sure? I can't remember ... I do remember that they got as far as the rehearsal dinner but I don't recall a wedding flashback ... eep, I'm digressing ...). How does this all fit in ...? It's so fun getting new, bizarre pieces of the Lost puzzle. Other information gleaned from the show ... the man who died in the car accident with Sara had the last name Rutherford, which is Shannon's last name (coincidence?). His time of death was 8:15 (obvs). Why and how did Walt appear to Shannon in the jungle ... he was the scariest part of the whole episode. AHHHH! I cannot wait for next Wednesday ... I'll be in NYC but you better believe I'm do whatever I can to be watching Lost! The teaser promo for next week's episode promises: "The fate of all the survivors will be revealed." Yeah, we'll see how true that statement is soon enough.

OOOKay, let's do a wee bit more TV talk ... I don't usually watch The Apprentice but I managed to catch the last 10 minutes of Martha Stewart's version of The Apprentice because I wanted to see how she fired people:

The show is an exact carbon copy of the original show ... which I think is very uninspired. As Martha was about to fire her first Apprentice I half-expected her to say, "You got served, biatch!" but alas she stuck with her (very lame) "You just don't fit in ... sorry." line, to which I say BOOOOOOO!

I also watched the series premiere of Invasion on ABC which looks promising ... we'll see ... hopefully it'll turn out to be more like V and not so much like Alien Nation. Lastly, I watched the season finale of Battle of the Network Reality Stars on Bravo ... and enjoyed it immensely. I always love it when the underdog wins ... and I kinda knew that Team Miz was going to lose because of the puzzle component. Battle turned out to be a pretty entertaining show ...

BUT ENOUGH, ENOUGH for now ... let's get to the goss ... check out these pictures of various celebs at the Teen Vogue magazine Young Hollywood party from Tuesday night:

It was a Who's Who of the hottest young Hollywood celebs ... and Kim Stewart. How that girl gets past security is an absolute mystery to me! Jesse Metcalfe is a cutey but he needs to do something about those eyebrows ... they're a bit scary! I think he over plucks them into that weird shape ... no no no ... they look bad, Jess. Er, and when did Stephen and Talan from MTV's Laguna Beach become "Young Hollywood"? But HELLO Jack Osbourne ... he is totally a new man these days ... check out this picture of Jack from the US magazine party last week:

He looks about 10 years younger. He looks fresh, tanned ... he looks great! Looks like the boy has a new lease on life ... I hope he keeps it up because he is lookin' smokin' these days.

NEWSFLASH: Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie and the kiddies were seen at a mall in Edmonton, Canada yesterday:

Okay ... it's not really that exciting ... but that blurry picture of Brad makes the whole thing seem more thrilling ... right? [thanks Kevin]

Let's check in with our fave smarmy actor Colin Farrell on the set of Miami Vice ... perhaps we'll find that he is shirtless and sexy-looking ...

... ew, yeah ... maybe next time ...

Hold the damn phone ... why the hell is Paris Hilton playing the lottery?

What could she possibly need another 41 million dollars for, a new dress? Well, at least one thing that Paris knows is how to work the color pink:

Pink satin looks good on Miss Thang. She definitely works our favorite color better than, say, Lara Flynn Boyle. But I have to ask ... what is going on with Paris (male)? He really hasn't been seen around town lately ... are he and Paris (female) on rocks or is he just really embarrassed to be seen with his new haircut?

The poor dear looks like he fell asleep at a slumber party and his friends cut his hair and shaved his eyebrow (Vanilla Ice, anyone?). Yeah, I'd prolly go underground, too, if I had his haircut.

Someone call AA, I think we need to stage an intervention for Jessica Simpson:

It seems like Jess is always drunk these days. I wonder if she's having marriage problems? Hey ... that's something we don't hear every day!

Woot! David Beckham loves to take off his shirt ...

... and I love it when he does so. The thing I like best about Becks is that he's not overly muscley ... he's just normal and hot. Yes, please! [thanks Shy]

Here are a couple other pictures of Mariah Carey and Donatella Versace:

See, even Mimi can take a bad picture ... and Donatella ... still looks creepola. BUT, Mariah is more famously known for her hot pictures, like these pictures from the set of her new music video:

I bet she borrowed this little number from her older sister ... You go, Mariah! It looks fierce!

Poor Jessica Alba ...

... I wonder what other ailments she has? Hemorroids? Incontinence?

What's goin' on Kristin Cavalleri? I hear that she is SO over Stephen that she is now spending a lot of time with Brody Jenner, one of the Princes of Malibu:

He seems a bit long in the tooth for her ... but he does have a little of that Jesse Bradford thing going for him ... I'm gonna have to keep my eye on these 2. [thanks Melanie]

In other Laguna news, it seems that Jessica and Alex M. have gotten over fighting over Jason ... check out how close the girls seem to be in these pictures:

The pair were photographed at the Beverly Center in LA. Jessica looks hot! The girl seems to have grown up since taping this season's show. I hope she grew a spine too ...

Check out these pictures of Jay-Z assaulting, what appears to be, a young woman merely because she took his picture:

Click HERE to see the full animation of the attack (it may take a little while to load). I cannot believe that Jay-Z would actually put his hands on someone in an assaulting manner, especially a woman ... just because she took an unauthorized picture of him? It looks like Jay-Z needs to chill the eff out and learn to control his temper. [thank you Adeana]

UPDATE: LOL! Roc-A-Fella Records released a statement about this "playing around" incident? Hilarious ... I <3 the Internets :) [thanks to everyone who emailed me the link]

Well, well, well Miss Portia De Rossi ... what have we here?

Being the spokesmodel for Crack Sandwich seems more like something Kate Moss might be interested in. [thanks Darian]

Michelle Trachtenberg is the new face of Dooney & Bourke:

She looks so pretty in these pictures from Teen Vogue. I love that my little Dawn is thriving in her life after Buffy.

Kevin Spacey looks like he's going to be a great Lex Luthor:

I am very excited for Superman Returns.

Here is the first batch of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire movie posters:

The movie looks great ... I can't wait to see Harry get all dark and suicidal ... just like a teenager is apt to be.

Check out this paparazzi picture of the Fan Stands at this year's Emmy Awards ...

That's right, my good friend (and exboy) Tony was in attendance. I was able to see him live on E! during their red carpet special ... he tells me that he had a great time. I'm so happy for him!

And finally, I was lucky enough to be interviewed by Chicago's extremely fabulous Patrick and Noah (and Scott) for the Patrick and Noah Show:

You can download the podcast HERE. I had such a good time talking with these guys ... they are very fun. Make sure you check out their other podcasts -- they're hilarious! Thank you so much for the interview, you guys ... I had a lot of fun talking with you. I hope we can hang soon.

Les news:
Yesterday was crazy ... I was interviewed by the Detroit Free Press last week and yesterday a very cool photographer came over to my house to shoot me for the article. Yeah, I don't do photoshoots very often so it was quite an experience for me. The photog was very fun with a sexy French accent so I didn't really mind at all. I understand that the article comes out in next Wednesday's Detroit Free Press ... so I'll update you all on that.

I've begun my preparations for NYC ... I can't wait to get to the city. Already I have a few very awesome things lined up so ... I can't wait to share it with you ...

I have to give a big birthday shout out to my HomeDawg down in Mexico, Alejandro, who is celebrating his 19th birthday today!

And with that ... I'm out.