Now, all kidding aside, I do not believe that Britney would carry her baby out in full view of the helicopters that are flying over her home ... but I do think it's hilarious that she can bundle up a loaf of bread (or whatever), carry it around for prolly 10 minutes and then go inside and see the pictures of her baby already on the Internets. Loves it! OK! magazine will be out in a few days ... and then we may finally get our first look at baby Sean Preston ... or whatever his name is.
Yesterday, we saw what amazing style sense Kevin Federline enjoyed as a child ... today we marvel in his stunning scholastically academic accomplishments ... behold, K-Fed's credentials:
Okay, okay ... so a participation soccer certificate (which every kid on the team gets at the end of the season regardless of whether or not they played a single game) and a Little League certificate (from Pizza Hut, no less) do not constitute anything scholastic or academic ... but he did get his High School Equivalency Certificate and that's saying a lot. Sure he prolly ordered it from a 1-800 number on late night TV and sure he is now only qualified to only fill-out applications at a fast food restaurants ... but that didn't stop our dear Kevin. No sir ... he made something of himself ... with one squirt of semen he was able to secure his status as the father of Britney Spears' first-born son. You know what ... they don't even make a certificate for that!
Moving on ... SO while we wait to see if Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore are pulling an elaborate PUNK'D prank on the entire world (did they get married ... or what is it all a ruse?) we find out that other celebrity marriages are falling apart faster than the elastic on Janet Jackson's underwear. First up, Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush have called it quits after only 5 months of wedded bliss:
Color me shocked ... nah, I'm just kidding ... but you can color me badd ... I knew that these 2 weren't destined for the long haul. Hello, they met on the set of The WB's One Tree Hill ... didn't any of you see this coming?!
In more upsetting news, we also found out that Kathy Griffin and her husband Matt are also headed for splitsville:
This news is definitely shocking ... Kathy and Matt looked so happy on her reality show on Bravo. This couple really came across as the kind that would last forever. It is sad news ... Kathy is the one who filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences. She has requested that Matt be denied spousal support ... it sounds like it's a pretty bitter sitch. I'm sure they are doing what they need to do and I hope they both get thru it all OK.
Well, well, well, well ... who knew that Jake Gyllenhaal was a fan of Maroon 5? Here is our favorite pin-up boy backstage in San Francisco at a Maroon 5 concert:
It is my understanding that Jake is friends with Maroon 5's lead singer, Adam Levine. You may fantasize now. [via ONTD!]
Check out all the Hollywood "It" girl hotties at Club Element in LA earlier this week:
Kirsten Dunst is wearing the worst dress ever ... her boobies look ... wrong (Lindsay Lohan seems to agree). Y'all know that I love me some Hilary Duff but I don't think that I'm feeling those highly-reflective pants of hers. They look like they came from the wardrobe closet at the Michael Jackson Bad video shoot. It's all good ... I still love her. The cute chick with Hilary and Haylie is Hil's best friend Taylor. I got to meet her backstage when I met Hilary last month. She's a rad chick ... and she looks smokin' hot.
Here's another gaggle of celebs hanging out at Koi in LA:
Nicole Richie looks great ... I love how she rocks that scarf. Jesse Metcalfe looks ... well, the same ... but what is going on with Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock? Are they back together? It's so hard to keep up with who Pamela is dating ...
Aww, check out this cute picture of Gwyneth Paltrow and her baby Apple hanging out backstage at the Austin City Limits Festival this past weekend:
I love her pink headphones but little Apple should be enjoying Arcade Fire's set not be shielded from it. Now, at a Coldplay concert I would understand ... [via Achtung! Baby, thanks Juan]
Lindsay Lohan is never one to keep the same hairstyle for long ... it seems like she changes it hourly:
I don't mind the extensions ... I love her long hair look ... but it looks like she went back to blonde again ... NOOOOOO ... red, red, red ... get it in your head, head, head, Linds!
What the hell is Paula Abdul doing with this young man?
Apparently his name is Dante Spencer and he is a model for International Male ... um, is she really pulling a Demi Moore on us?
Here is what D'Angelo's car looked like after his car accident:
I am happy to report that he is doing fine and is ready to get back to work ... Rock on!
Pink has taken the time to hand write a letter for her fans:
She posted the letter on her official website. I'm not a big Pink fan (shocking, ain't it?) but I do like Carey Hart ... so if he's cool with her, I guess I can be too.
Fiona Apple is back on the scene and ready to take on the music world ... again ... we hope. Check out these awesome pictures from Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly magazines:
She looks great ... the pictures are awesome ... I cannot wait to hear how her album turned out ...
Ryan Gosling is a V Man:
I'm not sure what a V Man is exactly but ... I am taking a second look at the lad.
Mandy Moore is on the cover of the new issue of Lucky magazine:
The photoshoot is a bit boring ... but Mandy is cute ...
Charlize Theron is NOT boring in her photoshoot for Harper's Bazaar magazine:
But the clothes are ug-ly. Boo!
Reese Witherspoon looks all angelic and stuff in her recent picture spread in Entertainment Weekly magazine:
She looks pretty good for a dead chick.
Hmm ... now that we know that Laguna Beach's Kristin is way over Stephen ... we have to wonder how Stephen is occupying his time ... we know he ain't never gonna hook up with LC for real ... so I wonder who he's spending time with ...
... yeah, that sounds about right.
And finally, here are some pictures of our favorite faker on Laguna Beach -- Casey:
Did you watch Laguna last night? I wonder what exactly Casey said about Alex M. that caused all the drama ...
- Bruce Willis is demanding that his daughters be kept away from Kabbalah. He may be cool with Ashton marrying his former wife but he'll be damned if he's gonna let Ashton educate his children.
- AUSSIES! HIDE YOUR MEN! Kimberly Stewart is on the prowl. [thanks Christina]
- Madonna to launch her world tour in Japan.
- Peace the Spork Out ... Don Adams, aka, Agent Maxwell Smart.
- Donald Trump to spawn again? Ew.
- Kirsten Dunst spills the news on the Spider-Man 3 villains -- Venom and Sandman!
- Avril Lavigne is 21 today ... YAY! She can drink alcohol now! Gwyneth Paltrow is 33 today as well ... click HERE to see who else is celebrating a birthday today.
- Round 2: The Killers vs. Fall Out Boy. Dumb.
- Suge Knight to coach football? Would you want a coach named Marion?
- R. Kelly and his wife seperate ... she must have peeked into his closet.
- Click HERE to read the Rolling Stone interview with Evangeline Lily.
- Watch Everybody Hates Chris online.
- Hey Indianaians ... click HERE to find out how to be an extra in a movie starring The RW: Philly's Landon Leuck.
- Ben Affleck for US Senator? I'm totally moving to Canada. [thanks ECA]
- Real men do love pink. [thanks Heather]
- Pink is the new protest. [thanks Kimberly]
It was the most bizaare interview that I've done so far ... and it was so fun. I can't wait to see how the story turns out.
Today ... I am packing and preparing for my New York trip ...
That said, while I am in NYC I will be on minimal blogging status. I still plan on blogging each day but the posts will be shorter (obvs) and may come at different times during the day. You may recall that I did this while I was in LA earlier this summer. I will do my best to post where I'll be while in the city ... so maybe some of you can come out and say Hello.
And with that ... I'm out.