Monday, August 21, 2006

If They Can't Raise My Interest ...

Well ... it finally happened ... Kevin Federline took to the stage as a solo performer and the world didn't come to an end. It appears that all those ominous signs in those ancient Biblical texts about the End Times must have been referring to some other apocalyptical event -- my bad. The 2006 Teen Choice Awards came and went and left us with a bit of fodder to have fun with this fine Monday morn (or afternoon or other time of the day depending on where in the world you are when you read this). There was a lot of anticipation surrounding this year's awards ... I know I was on pins and needles over the K-Fed performance but that's because I have serious Spederline addiction problems ... you may not have felt the same pangs of apprehensiveness as I did. I was happy to see Britney Spears back on the stage again (See? It's that pesky Spederline addiction acting up again) and even tho she was chompin' away on her bubblegum (what is up with that?) she still looked a whole lot better than we've (sadly) gotten used to seeing:

Her hair and make-up looked very nice, the dress was cute and fit her pregs style ... her massive mama boobies were nearly busting out of her dress but I suppose it's to be expected considering she's about to give birth at any moment now. [Source]

But the moment wasn't about Britney, it was all about The Federline. Since he insists on going thru with this "rap thing" he needed to pick the right venue to show the world his skillz. What better place to bring an audience to its feet than an awards show for teenagers who are placed in front of the stage and are NOT given chairs to sit in ... behold ... the plain, white rapper in all his glory:

So let me get this straight ... we're supposed to believe that Kevin Federline knows how to play the piano (well, pound on the piano) just because we see a computer animated image of him sitting at the piano and then we see a cut away to hands playing the piano? I was a bit confused ... it didn't look like K-Fed sitting at the piano at first but then he magically appeared and jumped up from the piano bench and started rapping. I do have to give him props for rapping a few lines acapella as his way of showing the audience that he wasn't lip syncing (take a lesson, Rihanna). Um ... I think that's about all I can give him props for. Oh yeah, his back up dancers were very good ... props for hiring them. All in all, K-Fed's world wide debut performance was pretty much what I expected it to be ... it really wasn't all that. If you missed seeing his performance, first of all -- shame on you and second of all you can click HERE to see his world wide debut performance for yourself -- complete with intro by Miss Britney Spears. [Source]

Lest you think that Spederline were the only people at the 2006 Teen Choice Awards, here are a bunch of pics of a few of my fave celebs from the show's red carpet:

Eh ... a red carpet is a red carpet. I didn't see anything shocking or revolutionary at all ... see, this is why you simply must invite the Courtney Loves and Marilyn Mansons of the celeb world to your awards shows. Without them, there really isn't much to sink your teeth into. Rachel Bilson looked cute as hell ... Dane Cook had a really tight t-shirt. [Source]

Speaking of Dane Cook ... I was under the impression that he was supposed to be funny. Granted, I am not a huge connoisseur of Dane Cook's comedy stylings but I was led to believe that he is one of the funniest new comics on the scene right now. It seemed clear to me that Dane didn't do much of the writing ... and if he did then I was lied to by all the Dane Cook fans I know. I was really put off by the hot tub full of girls that was placed directly in front of the podium -- was that really necessary for the Teen Choice Awards? I *loved* the in-audience interview with Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock right before the awards got underway. It was plainly obvious they had *no interest* in being there at all. When Keanu was asked who he was looking forward to seeing, he passed the mic on to Sandra who replied, "I'd like to see some air conditioning." I seriously LOLed myself to death! Anyways ... here are some photos from the show:

Nelly Furtado and Timbaland did an OK performance ... they sang live, props for that. Ashley Olsen was very cute ... personable and smiley ... always nice to see. JoJo looked hot but pissed that she had to be there when she wasn't gonna win any awards. She has a new album coming out and a hot new song called Too Little, Too Late on the radio right now so she kinda had to be there ... I think that's her label rep sitting in the row behind her with a gun pressed into her back making sure she didn't bolt for the door. I just love the music biz! [Source, Source]

And don't you think for a second that I've forgotten all about our little hostess Jessica Simpson. I'm not sure how exactly she gets these gigs but, hey, more power to her. We know for a fact that she can read (since she was obviously reading cue cards all night long) so that's a plus. She can change her clothes often ... tho, that's prolly more about the people backstage on hand to help her out. One of her problems, tho, is the clothes she chooses to let her people put on her:

I can't believe she was serious with that boustier and capri pants ensemble. She looked like she raided Paula Abdul's closet from 1991 for this outfit. Her vapid stare is creepy as always but at least she made it thru the whole awards show without making her insipid guffaws that she's famous for ... wait ... what? Oh, she did guffaw all night long? Yeah ... well ... it's all over now, we can try and forget about the whole thing as quickly as possible. [Source]

Click HERE for a full list of 2006 Teen Choice Award winners.

Let's move on ... Lance Bass and Reichen Lemkuhl (hence forth known as Reich-ance ... oh please, it's hard mashing their names together), my fave darling couple of the moment, were on hand for the Mercedes-Benz Polo Challenge this weekend ... here are a few pictures of the lovebirds actually touching body parts in public:

It's nice that the couple feel comfortable enough in their loving relationship that they can be seen touching arms and stuff in front of the camera. I'm not sure why Lance felt it necessary to get on his hands and knees in front of Reichen but I'm not really gonna ask any questions. I shall not infer what his positioning means about their relationship either. [Source]

Adrien Brody is one cool dude. You wanna know how I know that Adrien Brody is one cool dude? Well, it's because he's wearing a leather jacket and he's standing next to a motorcycle ... have you learned nothing from watching Happy Days?

I don't know that the slacks from Gap are really helping his one cool dude image but all he would need to do to offset those pants is for him to lean up against a juke box and he'll be all set. [Source]

The epic struggle for supremacy between the powerhouse giants of Team Kristin and Team LC rages on in Hollywood. Here are a couple pictures of Kristin Cavallari (shopping at Victoria's Secret -- PINK store) and Lauren Conrad (shopping at Kitson) which begs the question ...

... why am I still talking about these two? [Source, Source]

Oh that's right ... I'm still talking about Kristin and LC because I've yet to find a reason to give a shizz about anyone on the new season of Laguna Beach: The Real Orange County. Speaking of ... the new kiddies are featured in this week's issue of Entertainment Weekly ... here are the pics:

Yeah, they're really trying ... and as much as I was a bit put off by the first episode I think I'll stick with the show for a while to see if it gets any better (i.e. to see if anyone on the show is worth caring about). So far, the guys don't seem to be jerks this season ... which is a nice change. Maybe I'll tune in for the guys. Incidentally, Cami was also featured in this photoshoot but she was too far off on the end and too big to make the crop. I didn't think anyone would miss her. [Source]

Here is your first look at Aaron Ashmore (twin brother to X-Men's Shawn Ashmore) as Jimmy Olsen for the upcoming season of Smallville:

He bears a striking resemblance to Ice Man but I'm sure it's just coincidental ... after all, Ice Man is a Marvel Comics character and Jimmy Olsen is a DC Comics character. Hmm ... it appears that the Ashmores really have a comic book fetish. [Source]

Praise Jebus ... my very best friend Sarah can finally stop DVRing old repeats of Beverly Hills, 90210 because the show is finally being released on DVD this November!

Hallelujah! Hip, Hip, Horray! It's about damn time ... now we can watch any of those amazing first season episodes as many times as we like -- pausing frames to enjoy those revolutionary early '90s fashion trends (it's all about the shoulder pads, y'all) and counting down the episodes until David Silver's dumb little friend accidetnally shoots himself while playing with a gun he found in his dad's desk drawer (guns are bad, kids). If memory serves, we'll have to wait until the second season to watch Emily Valentine burn down the Walsh Bunch's homecoming float but hey ... at least we have something to look forward to. Click HERE to preorder your DVD set now! [Source]

Great news ... Melrose Place is also being released on DVD on the same November day that BH, 90210 is being released:

Sure, Melrose was boring as shizz for much of the first season but when the producers got the brills idea to hire Heather Locklear as Amanda Woodward (and really made the show revolve around her) the show quickly got significantly better (and significantly bitchier, sluttier and eviler). I didn't fall in love with the show until Marcia Cross joined the cast as the super psycho Dr. Kimberly Shaw so I may hold off on getting the DVDs just yet ... but you best believe I won't be missing out on reliving the story arc where Jo (Daphne Zuniga) got raped by her abusive boyfriend only to be kidnapped and then was forced to kill her rapist in order to stay alive ... only to find out that her rapist impregnated her ... and then managed to lose custody of her baby to the rapist's parents ... and then was forced to fake the baby's death so that she could keep the baby away from the rapist's parents but had to have Dr. Kimberly Shaw help her out ... only to discover that she got double-crossed by Dr. Shaw when she tired to steal Jo's baby away from her. See ... I told you Kimberly Shaw was a super psycho. Click HERE to preorder your Melrose Place DVD set now! [Source]

Reminder: I will be interviewing Louise Post from Veruca Salt this Thursday afternoon:

I know there are a lot of you Veruca Salt fans out there ... if you have a question for Louise, please send it in to me HERE (make sure you put "Question for Louise" in the subject header) and I'll do my best to ask the best questions. I am *so* excited!!! Thanks for your help, y'all. [Source]

And finally ... don't forget that Prison Break returns for its second season tonight on Fox:

It's been a while since we've watched the Fox River 8 break out of prison ... I can't wait to see what happens this season ... I am so ready for a whole new season of Prison Broke! [Source]

Les News:
Yesterday afternoon I chilled out for most of the day watching crappy TV and stumbled upon the movie A Few Good Men. You may recall that this movie starred Tom Cruise in his BC phase (before crazy), Keifer Sutherland in his loves to play mean a-hole characters phase, Demi Moore in her used to get movie roles phase and Jack Nicholson and his scary teeth phase (which is pretty much always his phase). I watched the whole thing and remembered fondly how much I used to like Tom Cruise. Remember when he used to be hot ... the cool actor ... sane? Ah ... it was nice to go back in time like that.

Last night, Jim, Davey and I went to a late showing of Material Girls because ... well, I needed a way to get back at Davey for making me go to The Rocky Horror Picture Show and I couldn't think of a better way to make him suffer. Jim and I were gung-ho about seeing the movie but Davey ... well ... he seethed the whole time and pretty much hates me know ... it was a really fun night!

Okay ... I ain't gonna lie ... this movie prolly will not win any Academy Awards next year but it is what it is. The story basically tries to make the audience feel sorry for these poor rich girls who lose their fortune and then find it within themselves to work towards getting it all back ... or something like that. The writing could've been better but it's a cute flick. I'm pretty sure that Hilary Duff fans will like this movie (maybe some Good Charlotte fan too ... Joel and Benji Madden have a cute cameo in the movie) and maybe some Angelica Huston and Brent Spiner fans will too (Spiner, who played Data on Star Trek: The Next Gen actually utters the line "beam me up"). Davey didn't like it ... so there you go.

And ... I guess that's it ... I'm out.