Friday, May 09, 2008

Survivor: Dumbest.Survivor.Ever.


Now, I don't usually blog about Survivor even tho I have, on occasion, mentioned the show or talked about winners and losers in years past but, it has been a long time since I've felt compelled to blog about any individual episode. That said, I have been watching Survivor for years now and, even tho I don't blog about it, I do enjoy watching the season after season after season. This season, a cast of Survivor favorites were pitted against a cast of fans in a showdown to see who would emerge as the ultimate Survivor -- a fan or a veteran of the show. Last night's ep (which I watched on the plane ride home from NYC) was just so unbelievably surprising that I MUST blog one little thing about the ep ...

... Erik is absolutely the dumbest Survivor in all of Survivor history. Without going into too much detail, the bottom line is that Erik (the sole remaining male contestant left in the competition) managed to escape elimination by winning individual immunity week after week foiling the plans of the remaining women contestants (all veterans of the show) who wanted to vote him off ages ago. Last night, Erik won immunity again and ended up getting talked into giving away his immunity in order to "look good" in the eyes of the jury ... instead, he was voted off immediately. Entertainment Weekly describes perfectly how things went down on last night's ep:

"You're crazy. You'll officially go down as the dumbest Survivor ever. In the history of Survivor. Ever." — Parvati

She's right, you know. He will. Erik will go down as the dumbest Survivor ever. In the history of Survivor. Ever. Step aside, Ian. Move over, James. Bow down at the altar of idiocy, Ozzy and Jason. Because Erik is your new lord and master of the moronic. He now, like Anthony Michael Hall in Sixteen Candles, is the undisputed King of the Dipshits. Who would have thunk that a collection of past players and hardcore fans would produce such a glorious collection of complete dingbats?

I think you should sit down now because I'm about to say something that may shock you. Are you sitting? I have to assume so, because it would be very awkward if you were reading a computer screen standing up. Okay, here goes. This is the best season of Survivor since the very first one. There, I said it. And there's no taking it back, either. This is the Internet — crap statements like that live on forever. Not only is it the best season of Survivor since Richard Hatch took home the loot, but these past four episodes constitute the most amazing month-long run in the history of the show. Four straight blindsides done in the most dramatic fashion possible (Ozzy not using his hidden immunity idol, Jason not using his hidden immunity idol, Amanda shocking everyone with her hidden immunity idol, and then Erik — and I still can't even believe it as I'm typing it — giving away immunity for absolutely no reason whatsoever). That's right — no reason. How could he possibly think he was in trouble with that jury? He hadn't backstabbed or offended anyone? Parvati, Cirie, and Natalie all had more enemies over there than he did. But the women convinced him otherwise ...

If Erik wondered whether he had made the wrong move after handing his ugly-ass necklace over to Natalie, it should have become immediately obvious with a simple look over at the jury. Ozzy rolled his eyes (you're one to talk, mister), James went into hysterics (ditto), and Eliza did what Eliza always does — opening her mouth so wide you could drive an SUV through it while her eyes exploded off of her face. At this point, producers wisely didn't even try to hide what was happening, showing us each of the votes and contestant comments, my favorite being Amanda not even knowing what to say, trailing off into disbelieving silence after, "You know...." This was the point in the horror movie where you're yelling at the screen, "Oh no, the killer is stabbing the ice pick through your brain! But you don't even realize it yet! Trust me, it's going to really, really hurt! And you'll look really deformed if you survive! Which you won't because they are killing you right now as I yell at the screen! And I'm really sorry to tell you this, but I also can't stop laughing!"

While I don't necessarily agree that this is the best season of Survivor since the first season, I do see the point. There have been so many blindsides in this season's game, whoever ends up winning the $1 million bucks absolutely deserves to after all the outwitting that had to be done. I would love for Cirie to win but I just don't think she has the physical capability to do so. To be honest, it's anyone's game (including Natalie, the sole remaining fan in competition) ... and we'll find out this Sunday who the ultimate Survivor will be. Interestingly enough, for the first time ever, producers of the show revealed the votes of every single person last night -- but it was absolutely clear to everyone on EARTH how the vote was going to go down, er, except for Erik, that is. OY! Survivor is still such a good show/game. I have a feeling it might even last longer than The Real World will ... especially if shizz like what went down last night keeps happening in seasons to come. [Source]

UPDATE: Pink reader Liz reminds me that Erik hails from Hamburg, Michigan, attends classes at Eastern Michigan University and, apparently, is an ice cream scooper in the city of Hell, MI! OY! Click HERE to read the Detroit Free Press's loving tribute to his idiocy ;)