Monday, August 23, 2004

Rotting My Brain

So, tonight I was able to catch another episode of Growing Up Gotti. Man, I love horrible TV. I would not mess with Victoria Gotti, that's for sure.

After that was over I watched the newest episode of Road Rules: X-treme. It was a pretty boring mission (they succeeded in their second mission in a row, bor-ing!) but they showed a promo for next week's episode which will feature the cast of the last Road Rules team.

The newest chick on RR: X-treme, Jillian, is pretty slutty (hello, she had sex with Patrick on her first night on the show) but she can't touch the skeeziness of Mary-Beth from the last season! Woo! I can't wait!

Will they be the new Coral vs. Julie? I'm going to have to tune in to find out.
Bring it on, BA-BYYYYYY!

Finally, I caught the premiere episode of the new VH-1 show Totally Obsessed, and they're not lying! Actually, the show should be called Totally Effing Out Of Their Minds. This show features some of the most effed up people I've ever heard of. Tonight's episode featured a guy who was obsessed with Miami Vice, a couple that were raising a Cabbage Patch Kid (named Kevin) as their son, a dude that really loved to make Madonna costumes and a man who is trying to turn himself into a tiger ... literally! Let it be known that these crazy people live all over the country. Tomorrow night's episode (11pm) will feature a woman from Ferndale, MI (a suburb of Detroit about 20 minutes from where I live) who is totally obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Doesn't she look like a winner? She was featured on the local 5 o'clock news tonight. In her interview she explained that she became enamored of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while in junior high school mainly because she had no friends. Imagine that! Well, I'm sure she's going to gain lots of friends from her 15 milliseconds of fame that is sure to follow her television debut.

I *so* need to go read a book now.

Oh No She Didn't ... !!!

... oh yes, she did.

Well, just when you thought she couldn't get trashier, Britney Spears out-does herself. Who IN THEIR RIGHT MIND willfully enters a public restroom (clearly labeled women, men and handicapped -- can you even imagine how high the probability of missing-the-toilet-bowl error is in that restroom?!) in their BARE FEET! Now, I've been grossed out by the occasional picture of Britney barefoot on the street (getting flowers, running to her car) but the actual thought of bare human feet touching a urine-stained floor is just way too much for me. I think I'd rather touch the floor at City Club with my finger than touch a public restroom floor with anything has posted an excellent article on Britney's descent into the toilet, as it were. The blame is placed squarely on Kevin Federline's tattooed shoulders. I can't say that I disagree.
And even though I don't know her, have never met her, and was late to her fame party to begin with, I want to do a stranger intervention. I want to take this young woman aside and say, Britney? Get. A. Prenup. Do not let this guy take half your money, along with your heart and your self-respect. Preserve what you can get out of what happened to you as a kid: your bank account, at least. It's not that I think she should stop seeing him or anything. Let her have her fun, get her heart broken. I want to tell her that I get it, I really do. He makes her feel good about herself in a way that doesn't require 2,000 sit-ups a day, powerful in a way that isn't about selling millions of records. She told People magazine that she'd "kissed a lot of frogs" before finding "her prince." And I understand that it must feel that way, especially after that protracted video-for-video shootout and devastating breakup with Justin Timberlake.
I mean sure, she was doing stupid things before she met Kevin (taking up smoking, in my opinion, was the start of all of this mess -- and we cannot forget that she was married before to Jason Whateverhisnamewas) but she wasn't as trashy as she has been since hooking up with Mr. Backup Dancer. It seems clear to most people that she is acting out against a life that was crafted for her by other people. Now that she has some semblance of personal control she is grasping at the first thing that looks solid. It's sad that to her that is what Kevin represents. She *so* just needs to say no:

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I miss the old Britney. Right around the time that Oops! ... I Did It Again came out she was in her prime. Still young and cute but getting a tad bit racy. She was "still a virgin" and madly in love with Justin. It was a kindler, gentler Brit-Brit. Compare the glamorous Britney to the one we're stuck with now:

::Sigh:: It's sad to see what's become of her. I know she's just like any normal human being (well, when she's wearing shoes) but there is no reason for her to just implode to the point of ruin. I really hope she gets her shizz straight and soon. I'd hate for her to become a sad rock-n-roll statistic.

Art Attack

What horrible news! Armed thieves burst into an Oslo museum in bold daylight on Sunday and stole two paintings by Edvard Munch, one of which was the famous painting The Scream. Sarah sent me this news yesterday afternoon:

Two masked robbers ran into the Munch Museum, threatened staff with a handgun and forced people to lie down before grabbing "The Scream," an icon of existential angst showing a waif-like figure against a blood-red sky, and "Madonna" ... Some stunned visitors said they feared they were victims of a terror attack. The men simply walked out the front door -- with one painting bumping on the ground -- and escaped in a stolen black Audi car driven by a third man, police said ... Worth millions of dollars, the pictures are among Munch's best-known, even though he produced several versions of both 1893 works. "Madonna" shows a mysterious bare-breasted woman with flowing black hair.

I am at a complete loss for words. I cannot believe the brazenness of these horrible art thieves. I hope the paintings are recovered safely and are returned to their rightful place. The Scream is the first piece of art that I have ever had a fondness for. In college, I had a framed print of the painting hanging in my room. Sarah and I took a week-long trip to Toronto and were able to see original Munch sketches for The Scream -- the closest I've ever been to the real thing.

In other news:
And that is all. I'm trying to find a high quality version of the barefoot Britney picture that is making the rounds on various blogs. It's nasty, Britney walking out of a gas station bathroom barefoot! But, to tide you over here is a nice picture of Kevin sending (receiving?) money at Western Union:

Gotta love these two.