Granted, you are wearing some sort of skully on your head (usually, a definite no-no) but it is covering up your ugly-ass braids (most definitely a no-no) so the one cancels out the other. I wish someone would introduce you to the world of shoelaces but I don't see any chicken grease stains on your white Polo shirt sooo ... Anyways, it's too bad you don't dress like this normally ... no wait ... scratch that ... bring on the trashy Kevin Federlinness ... I mean, what else would there be for me to talk about?
It's not like I'm the only one that's doing the talking ... celebs are more bitchy than I could ever be:
You just know that Nicole and Paris talk shit about each other ... and I loves it!
Egads ... it looks like the Trimspa is no longer working, baby:
Anna Nicole tried to devour Lil' Kim at a recent party. Poor Lil' Kim, she just can't get a break. Her bow tie scheme didn't work because her jury convicted her of perjury and conspiracy (fortunately she was acquitted of obstruction of justice) -- but she could get up to 20 years in prison! Hmmm ... she might have to get used to having larger women have their way with her.
Awww ... Justin Timberlake was overheard whispering sweet nothings to his darling Cameron Diaz:
Reese Witherspoon and daughter Ava are the cutest ever:
I love the faces Ava makes ... cute!
Mariah Carey is in Paris doing promotion for her new album:
But don't count on her having any sex while she's over there ... she is happy with her newfound celibacy.
Didn't Shania Twain just have her baby like 2 days ago ... he's already grown into a full-size kid:
And shock of shocks ... her very private husband, Mutt Lange, was actually photographed ... caught on film! I guess he's not a vampire afterall.
Tara Reid looks hot:
Oh wait, I lied.
Gwen Stefani, with her really boring Harajuku Girls, is shooting a new video for Hollaback Girl:
Gwen looks good ... I don't really care for the whole Cholo look but ... you know kids these days.
Kelly Osbourne loves Photoshop:
But she looks great! Shoot, I would need tons of Photoshop for my album cover ... believe me. You go Kelly!
Scott Peterson, having murdered his wife and unborn child, is now dead meat himself:
But that doesn't stop tons of women from hitting on him. Wait, what?!?
And finally, Buffy.nu is reporting that this is the teaser poster for the new Wonder Woman movie:
The movie, as you know, is being written and directed by the amazing creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Joss Whedon. Any suggestions for who should get the lead role?
Let's do the news:
- From the X-Files: Britney and Kevin are driving neighbors away.
- Michael Jackson prays for luck. He's gonna need it, what with former employees spilling all of his secrets on the witness stand. In other news, the real Michael Jackson has been found.
- The Gap dumps Sarah Jessica Parker and name Joss Stone (?!?) as their new spokesmodel. I blame those stupid "I enjoy being a girl" commercials.
- Thanks to her big mouth and stupid comments, Xtina Aguilera loses her clothing line.
- Baywatch movie to be made by ... Steven Spielberg?!?
- So the truth about Mario Vazquez starts to come out ... he has hired a lawyer to get him out of the AI contract that he's bound by ... AND he has already recorded an album that was released last May -- which would mean that he is ineligible to compete as an amateur singer. But I want to know when he's going to come out of the closet.
- Is Ashlee Simpson really dating one of her bandmates? I hope it's not the one with the mohawk.
- Robert Blake ain't off the hook just yet.
- Nicholas Brendon gets a TV pilot of his own!
- George Lucas promises that you will cry watching Episode III. Let's hope they aren't tears of disappointment.
- Stream tracks off the new Garbage album Bleed Like Me at Radio Virgin.
- Paula Abdul to be prosecuted for a hit & run?
- P. Diddy to peddle line of luxury cars.
- Courtney Love, Love, Love.
- Chloë Sevigny wants to go mainstream; talks shizz about Hilary Swank.
- The first season of Lost to be released on DVD on September 6th.
- Mattel to make LeAnn Rimes doll complete with eczema-bloody kungfu grip.
- Stereogum has the best.animated.gif.ever.
Ugh ... I need to go hide now ... Later!