Saturday, October 07, 2006

Choose Your Alliance

Awww ... things are seemingly well and normal, human-like if you will, with the Beckham family. Here are new pictures, sent in by Pink reader Vicky, of David Beckham playing Mr. Mom as he drops off and picks up his sons, Romeo and Brooklyn, at school:

Yes ... things appear very normal here. The kids look happy, Becks looks happy ... normal everyday life goes on at home while Victoria Beckham is off playing with her new friend Katie Holmes in Paris for Fashion Week. I wonder if Becks is even aware of the clandestine actions of his silicone wife? [thanks Vicky]

Because while Becks is home taking care of the kids, Victoria and Katie are plotting, not only the destruction of our planet but, the destruction of newly discovered opponents to their plans. The Fembots hadn't considered that the Olsen Twins from Planet XOLTON would also be at Paris Fashion Week with evil schemes of their own ... these two opposing forces were bound to run into one another sooner or later. So, while the world marvels at the apparently innocent new friendship between Posh and Katie ... it would seem that only I know the truth:

I know that the robotic women are not to be messed with ... you don't even wanna know what their laser eyes can do to you! [Source, Source]

But I know for a fact that the Olsens aren't going to stand down their assault. They may be small, elf-like and diminutive creatures but it is my understanding that they bite ... and that their small little teeth can leave marks:

Oh, it's gonna be on, bitches! It's gonna be a knock-down, drag-out FIGHT! Yeah ... that or they're all get bored and decide to go shopping instead. [Source]

Here are a couple photos of Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen that were posted on their official website:

I believe they are trying to show the world that they, too, are normal regular humans. Nice try, ladies. I'm hip to your scam. I'll be watching. [Source]

Speaking of scams, Katie Holmes isn't spending all of her Parisian time hanging out with the Victoria-bot plotting the destruction of our universe ... no, siree ... she's got objectives to complete on her own. Here are a couple photos of Katie doing a little shopping for her "baby" Suri Holmes-Cruise:

Doesn't that look like an awfully big coat for her to be eyeballing for her 3-4 month old "baby"? Maybe we're not meant to see the child again until she's big enough to fit into a coat like that ... which would give TomKat enough time to round up another fake kid with a bad weave to pose as their biological child. And the SHAM! just keeps on going. [Source]

Meanwhile, in other parts of the world ... Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt appear to be scouring the planet for new babies to adopt or something. Maybe Madonna's recent visit to Malawi has inspired Angelina to pick up another kid or two? Here are photos of Brangelina making a hasty retreat from Holland:

Photo credit: Splash News

Hmm ... it would seem that they didn't stay long ... I wonder where they are off to next ... [Source]

... well look at that ... next stop for Brangelina on their baby shopping excursion ... India:

LOL! It looks like Angelina ain't taking too kindly to Maddy stepping on her toes. Poor Brad ... you just *know* that he is whipped. I have a sneaking suspicion that what Angelina wants, Angelina gets. [Source]

Hmmm ... I know that Pete Doherty is trying to stay clean and out of jail but I somehow don't have much faith that homie can really stay on the straight-and-narrow. Here are new photos of Pete and Kate Moss boozing it up after Babyshambles played a gig at Brixton Academy:

BUST-UPS, a ripped coat, "wasted" photos – just another quiet night out for PETE DOHERTY and KATE MOSS then ... The couple started their evening at Pete's BABYSHAMBLES show at Brixton Academy, where Kate wiggled her bottom on stage during their duet for La Belle Et La Bete. But when they returned to her north London home later, they had the mother of all rows, which led to Pete's coat being torn. He stormed out at 3.30am, half-naked and wearing only a pair of jeans – and half a jacket ... The pal revealed: "Kate is angry Pete is on the road so soon after being in rehab. He is clearly back on drugs and she can't see how he can stay clean on tour." Lord. Kate is surprised that Pete can quickly fall off the wagon? No way. None of this is new. It would seem that Pete's deathclock is still ticking. [Source]

Oh ... and I'm sure a few of you are sitting home worried to death if Paris Hilton is doing OK after allegedly getting punched in the face by Shanna Moakler ... well, it would seem that she is doing just fine ... fine enough to go shopping for enough crap that will make her forget about all her troubles:

I know that when I get allegedly punched in the face, the first thing I need to do is go out and buy a new Hello Kitty plastic purse. Something about that cute little Japanese kitty that just chases all the (black and) blues away. [Source]

And finally, Paris Hilton appears to have learned her lesson ... no, not the lesson that you shouldn't mess with another woman's man otherwise you're likely to get allegedly punched in the face ... actually, it would seem that Paris has given up drunk driving once and for all:

Photo credit: Splash News

Elliot Mintz is prolly tucked away in the backseat in order to make sure that Paris keeps behaving herself. He is really earning his minor duckets. [Source]

Les News:
Yay! I finally made it to Detroit ... I got in way late last night/early this morning and made my way to Tracey's place. I was lucky enough to get a goodnight smooch from Princess Zakiya before going to sleep.

David and I are on our way to Angi's wedding ... it's a beautiful day for a Fall wedding here in D-Town ... the reception promises to be a hot one.

Have a great weekend, y'all! I'm out.