Get a load of this bullshizz ... Paris Hilton was sprung from the bighouse earlier this morning and is already back on the streets a free woman. After being sentenced to 45 days in jail, then having that sentence reduced to just 23 days, Paris Hilton (the artist formerly known as Inmate #9818783) ended up only serving a mere 3 days of her sentence. She's free, y'all:


TMZ has learned that Paris Hilton has not only had her sentence cut short, she is already out of jail! Unimpeachable sources tell TMZ the deal was sealed yesterday, and that Hilton made her exit early early this morning ... The L.A. County Sheriff's Department will hold a news conference in an hour to discuss what went down. Well folks, this is the American Justice System hard at work with your tax dollars ... you know, cuz prisoners who are convicted of crimes and who are sentenced to serve jailtime are set free after 3 days all the time. The LA County Sheriff has got some 'splainin' to do. [Source]

Now be completely honest, are any of you really that surprised? The way our system of justice coddles celebrities is absolutely laughable. The rest of the day's post is on the way ...

UPDATE: The LA County Sheriff's Department is doing a press conference right now and is explaining that the deal to free Paris that was sealed yesterday provided that her sentence be bumped back up to 45 days, that she has been credited with serving 5 days and will spend the rest of her 40 day sentence under house arrest with an ankle tether. Apparently, Paris' "release deal" was borne out of an unexplained "medical condition" that she suffered in jail ... uh, since when is crying a "medical condition"? WTF ever. There you have it. The rest of the day's post is on the way.

UPDATE 2: Here is the full text of the press release from Steve Whitmore, spokesperson for the LA County Sheriff's Department, explaning Paris Hilton's release from jail:

After extensive consultation with Los Angeles County Medical Personnel, including doctors at the Century Regional Detention Facility, it has been determined that Paris Hilton will be reassigned to the Community-Based Alternatives to Custody: The CBAC Program.

Ms. Hilton has been fitted with an electronic monitoring device and will serve the remained of her sentence confined to her home. She will now serve the full 45 day sentence. Ms. Hilton has been in custody for five days and therefore will be serving 40 days in the Electronic Monitoring Program under the supervision of the Los Angeles County Probation Department.

Ha.

Well ... Paris Hilton is free once again (well, not exactly "free" free but free enough to anger a lot of people, especially those concerned with justice) and is prolly soaking her trubs away in a hot bath as I type this. Even tho Paris was afforded the luxury to serve out the rest of her sentence in the privacy of her own home (mind you, a home that anyone can visit whenever she sees fit), I'm sure she'll never forget those 5 3 agonizing days spent locked up in the slammer (to clarify, the LA County Sheriff's Department credited Paris with 2 days served by way of a couple little loopholes). I'm not sure exactly what this bodes for her Prison Diary (a diary, mind you, that I have been very anxious to read) but by the time Paris was deemed ready for release she had already suffered quite a bit ... well, by heiress standards. Here's what went down for the former Inmate #9818783 on Day 3:

Paris Hilton is going au naturel. She's taken her contact lenses out and her eyes are now officially brown. [Um, HELLO! I knew her eyes weren't really green!] And we're told the makeup is also history. A number of inmates have told her she's better looking without it. One said, "Girl, you don't need all that stuff." Paris is squeaky clean, in a literal sense. She took her first shower, we're told, with some privacy. She's dealing with solitary much better today. She's spending time reading a book. She also visited with her shrink again, and her lawyer, Richard Hutton ... Oh yeah, she slept some last night. Apparently, Paris is adjusting. Tho, she wasn't adjusting as well as one might think, this from the New York Post: Paris Hilton trudged through another dreary day behind bars yesterday, cheered up only by a second consecutive visit from her hotshot shrink. Dr. Charles Sophy spent 90 minutes with Hilton inside the Century Regional Detention Center following a two-hour house call Tuesday. Sophy, who moonlights as medical director of the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services, declined to discuss Hilton's treatment as he left jail yesterday ... The hotel heiress has proven to be a picky jailhouse eater. Hilton downed her beans, mixed vegetables, bread, gelatin dessert and milk Tuesday night - but didn't touch her hotdog, a jailhouse source said. I'm sorry but I find it very hard to believe that Paris didn't touch her hotdog. That just sounds like madness. So Paris' punishment essentially boiled down to 3 days spent in jail where she had to endure a full body cavity search, a prison shower, lots of solitary confinement and a menu that didn't satisfy her palette ... sounds like justice to me. Whatever, I suppose we should be surprised that she was sent to jail at all ... Surely, the rest of Hollywood has learned the lesson that crime doesn't pay -- but if you can pay then you'll get off a lot easier than regular people do.

Blah ... I'm already over it ... let's move on ... It would seem that Paris Hilton isn't the only celeb celebrating their freedom today ... Britney Spears has finally saw fit to let her youngest child, Jayden James, come out of the box she keeps him in so that he can enjoy some sunlight. Here is a very clear photo of Britney holding Jayden with her cousin Allie holding Sean Preston as they vacay in Hawaii:


Of course, this isn't our very first look at Jayden James ... but it is the first picture snapped of him that isn't all grainy, blurry and taken from about 5 miles away. Er ... well, you really can't see his face all that clearly because his back is to the camera and he's looking down but ... we're getting closer to seeing good pics of him. [Source]

Director Eli Roth and his two starlets Heather Matarazzo and Bijou Phillips were all on hand for a special NYC screening of their new movie Hostel Part II last night ... and here are a few pics:


Photo credit: Wireimage
The movie opens wide tomorrow but the LA premiere happens tonight. I am very excitd because I have been invited to tonight's premiere. I have been anxiously awaiting this new movie and from everything that I've heard, I'm sure it's going to be a fun time. And by "fun time", I mean I'm prolly gonna watch most of the movie bunched up in my chair trying to hide behind my bag of popcorn as the grossness unfolds on the screen. The promo team for Hostel Part II are declaring that the movie's ending will be the "most shocking ending in horror movie history". Of course they're gonna say something like that ... but knowing what a sicko Eli Roth is, I'm pretty sure they're gonna make good on their promise. I can't wait to see for myself. [Source]

Lindsay Lohan has been quietly getting herself together at the Promises Rehab Facility in Malibu, CA but has also been allowed to leave the grounds of the treatment facility to work-out, etc. Here are a couple pictures of a very happy-looking L. Lo enjoying her work-out away from the rehab center yesterday afternoon:


Photo credit: X17
It's really good to see her smiling again. Hopefully she's really learning the lessons of clean and healthy living. It would just be such a shame if she backtracked and succumbed to her dangerous lifestyle. Call me a crazy optimist but I'm sure that Lindsay will emerge from her treatment program a new woman. [Source]

Here are pictures of David Beckham as he arrived in Tallinn, Estonia earlier this week to participate in the England vs. Estonia soccer match last night:


You could tell that Becks was all biznazz ... taking the game very seriously ... after all, he only brought one overly-expensive piece of luggage. [Source, thanks Katre]

Team England, with the help of our dear Becks, managed to shut out Estonia with a final score of 3-0. David Beckham set up 2 of the 3 goals scored by England and is, today, enjoying the lurve from pretty much everyone involved with Team England ... including the boss:


Steve McClaren paid tribute to the man he had axed from the England set-up after David Beckham guided his team to a 3-0 Euro 2008 qualifying win over Estonia on Wednesday. Joe Cole gave England a 37th minute lead and Beckham lined up second half strikes for Peter Crouch and Michael Owen to put them back in the race to qualify from Group E. Asked to judge the contribution from Beckham, who McClaren had ignored since the World Cup until last Friday's friendly 1-1 draw with Brazil, the England coach declared it "immense." Highlighting that Beckham was also behind England's goal against the Brazilians, McClaren said: "Three of the four goals, he's set up. That's why he's in the squad, that's why he's in the team. David Beckham is a very, very good player and he deserves to be in our team. He got a knock early on but he didn't want to come off. When he's playing like that, he's invaluable to us." Beckham told Sky Sports News: "I've enjoyed the two weeks we've been together, it's nice to be back with the lads. Tonight we've done the job. We scored the goals, played some good football at times. Confidence is gradually coming back into the team and so it should be." Woot! Now, I really don't know shizz about soccer (or the way the championships work) but I do know that this is great news for Becks. It's great to hear that he's kickin' ass so well on the soccer field that his former detractors have to step up and take notice. Now, if he could just hurry up and win the rest of his games over in Europe so that he can get his booty here to LA to start playin' for the LA Galaxy already, I'll be much happier. [Source]

While Becks was doin' his thang on the soccer fields of glory, his robotic wife Victoria Beckham was making an appearance at the Graduate Fashion Week Gala Show in London, England:


Apparently, the dress code was fugly because how else can you explain these horrendous shoes. She is seriously wearing spikes on her high heels ... I don't think even Amy Lee of Evanescence would go out in public wearing those things -- even if they came in black! Faux Goth-Street-Walker is never a good look, Posh. [Source]

Jake Gyllenhaal was spotted making his way out of LA at LAX Airport earlier this week:


Not sure where he was off to but it's always nice to see his smiling face. [Source]

Nicole Richie was also spotted at LAX earlier this week but she, apparently, had no interest in showing off her smiling face at all:


First she's ripping off Prince Michael Jackson, II's look and now she's ripping off Mary-Kate Olsen's look. What in the world could have gotten into her? [Source]

Thankfully, Nicole left her hiding blanket back at her hotel before she showed up for an appearance on The Late Show with David Letterman. Here are a couple pictures of Nicole doing Simple Life promo duty all on her own while Paris Hilton was languishing in busting out of jail ... tho, she did talk a bit about her own fears about being locked up:


Nicole Richie's friend Paris Hilton has served time in jail following a DUI bust – and Richie is afraid she may face the same fate. "I'm just keeping my fingers crossed," she told David Letterman on The Late Show Wednesday. "Of course, I'm scared also, but, you know, I'm willing to face whatever consequences come my way, and I take responsibility for what I've done." The Simple Life star, 25, pleaded not guilty in February to driving under the influence on Dec. 11. Officers had stopped her after she was spotted driving the wrong way on a Los Angeles highway, and police said she'd admitted to smoking marijuana and taking Vicodin. Because of a prior DUI conviction in June 2003, by California law, Richie faces mandatory jail time (90 days to one year) if convicted of a second DUI within 10 years. Letterman asked Richie when she would learn her fate. "Probably the end of this month," she said. Said Letterman: "I hope you don't have to go to jail." Well, if Nicole does get sentenced to jailtime all she has to do is request the Paris Hilton treatment and she should be just fine. From the sound of it, the LA Sheriff is a total softie. [Source]

And because this was funny last night, here is David Letterman's Top Ten Signs Paris Hilton Isn't Doing Well In Prison:

10. Suffering from insomnia because she's not used to sleeping in the same bed every night
09. Too depressed to participate in prison riots
08. Desperate for intimacy, she made a boyfriend out of a stuffed laundry bag
07. She's ballooned to 93 pounds
06. Only time she said "That's hot!" was during delousing
05. Knitted a tea cozy from rat fur (sorry -- that joke was left over from an old Martha Stewart list)
04. Only call she received was from Eddie Brill asking for her out cue
03. Was overheard muttering something about voting for Kucinich
02. Started a pen pal romance with Phil Spector
01. At last night's conjugal she seemed distant

Man ... I'm gonna miss the Paris Prison jokes.

The Fantastic Twosome of Jessica Alba and Michael Chiklis were on hand for a little Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer promo appearance on MTV's TRL yesterday, here are a few pics:


Eh, I would've preferred if Chris Evans made an appearance but I'm sure he'll be on the show sometime before the movie comes out next month. [Source]

Elsewhere in NYC, Xtina Aguilera made her own appearance on the city streets but was not looking all that fantastic:


The hair, those glasses, that pout ... her stylist needs to be slaughtered. [Source]

Bob Barker taped his final episodes of The Price is Right here in LA yesterday and managed to keep a smile on his face thruout the taping but afterwards started getting all verklempt when he was talking to reporters:


Photo credit: Wireimage
Bob Barker maintained a smile on his face throughout the final show as he bid goodbye after 35 years as host of "The Price Is Right" and 50 years of daytime TV. But he got misty-eyed afterward while speaking to reporters ... "The thing that surprises me most is that I got through the whole (show) without crying," the 83-year-old icon said, still holding his trademark microphone with the old-fashioned cord. During the post-show press conference, Barker said he spent the morning of his last day on the job reminiscing about his five decades on national TV. "I really had myself worked up into an emotional state," he said. "And I thought, 'I've really got to get over there and do this show. Straighten yourself out, Barker.'" That he did, ending his record tenure by blowing kisses and working in the same low-key, genial fashion that made him one of daytime TV's biggest stars. As the off-air light loomed, he closed with his usual, "Help control the pet population, have your pets spayed or neutered. Goodbye everybody." After the cameras stopped rolling he told the studio audience, "I thank you, thank you, thank you for inviting me into your home for more than 50 years. I'm truly grateful and I hope that all of you have enjoyed your visit to 'The Price Is Right.'" Barker was humble when asked what qualities have made him an American favorite for half a century. "Hosts of shows are like pie," he said. "Some people like lemon, some like cherry, some like apple, and fortunately a lot of them like the Barker kind." He said the key to his success is listening. "When I talk with someone, I listen. And I think if you do, you're going to find little nuggets of gold to go with." The show's hour-long taping began with its host entering the studio to a standing ovation from an adoring public and a giant shower of colorful confetti from his colleagues. The program is scheduled to air on June 15. It is very hard to imagine what The Price is Right will be like without him. I remember that one of the best things about staying home sick from school was being able to watch The Price is Right in the middle of the day. My favorite aunt was such a big fan of the show that she would fly out to California annually to attend show tapings. She never made it to the stage but she loved the show anyways mostly because Bob Barker was such a great host. It's pretty cool that Bob Barker went out on his own time. Hopefully, he'll be able to enjoy his retirement for a very long time to come. [Source]

Kiefer Sutherland is featured on the cover of the new Canadian issue of Hello! magazine ... and here it is:


The magazine doesn't hit newsstands until next week but this cover preview is a nice way to tide ourselves over until then ... we're about 6 months away from the new season of 24 so, in the meantime, I'll take all the Kiefer I can get. [Source]

And finally, I would be remiss if I didn't send out some congratulatory lurve to the Mighty Anaheim Ducks who, 14 seasons into their existence, have finally won the Stanley Cup:


The 14-year-old Anaheim Ducks captured their first Stanley Cup with a 6-2 victory over the Ottawa Senators on Wednesday night, ending the series in five games in front of the home folks again. For the first time, the Stanley Cup can enjoy an NHL western home, and the Ducks' victory came at the expense of Canada. The cherished trophy was born in Ottawa, but no team north of the border has won it since Montreal in 1993. "Canada loves their hockey, and from what I heard out there, we have quite a few fans who love their hockey out here, too," said captain Scott Niedermayer, a four-time champion from British Columbia and this year's Conn Smythe Trophy winner ... Anaheim is the first West Coast city to lay claim to the silver chalice since Victoria of the Western Canada Hockey League defeated Montreal in 1925, two years before NHL clubs began exclusively playing for the Cup. "Their perseverance and determination in defeating the Ottawa Senators is a testament to the greatness of California's world-class sports teams," Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said in a statement. I suppose now that I live in Southern California I'm allowed to claim the Ducks as my team but my heart will always belong to the Detroit Red Wings. It smarted a little when the Ducks defeated the Wings a couple of weeks ago but I'm glad that they went on to win the Stanley Cup in the long run. Much congrats, Ducks ... you've earned it! [Source]


Les News:

• Now we're being told that Paris Hilton was released from jail after serving only 3 days in the slammer to circumvent a nervous breakdown.
• Stan Lee inks a deal with Disney.
• Warning: Playing too much video games can lead to Wiiitis.
• Indiana Jones loses his father.
• Click HERE to preview new tracks off Ryan Adams' upcoming album Easy Tiger.
• David Bowie won the Lifetime Achievement Award at the Webby Awards last night.
• Criss Angel is so awkward about girls.
• The B-52s are back again.
• Meg from Family Guy flashes her breasts ... no, really.
• Rose McGowan does Arena magazine.
• Hope you saved your pennies ... Bitten is now on sale.
• Not to worry, Bartons ... kids will be kids.
• Dave Navarro is 40, Prince is 49 and Liam Neeson is 55 years old today. Click HERE to see who else is celebrating a birthday today.
• Will Rosie O'Donnell be wooed by NBC?
• Lindsay Lohan is still planning to party big for her 21st birthday.
• David Beckham is saving tattoo space on his arm for another child.

Last night I met up with Mike for drinks and a quick bite at a place called Stanley's in Sherman Oaks. He had had a long day at work and I was in the mood for booze so we decided to hang out for a bit. I must admit that I've really not done a thing to get my place ready for David's arrival tomorrow but something tells me that he's not really all that concerned. Tonight I am going to the Hostel Part II premiere and then Mike and I are gonna try and hit up a pre-Pride party at The Factory for Instinct Magazine. I'm not that big on Pride events but I love the folks at Instinct, so I'm sure it'll be a fun time.

And I guess that is all ... Paris is free and I am out.

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