Monday, June 04, 2007

Premature Incarceration

Hmmm ... let's see ... I know there is some big news today but I just can't seem to remember what it is exactly. Um ... well, the MTV Movie Awards were yesterday ... but I don't think that's it ... I broke in my new purple clogs, but that's not it either ... oh yeah ... I remember ... Paris Hilton surrendered herself to Police late last night, after making an appearance at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards. She tried to slip into jail in the wee hours in order to try and "sneak by" the media two days before she had to turn herself in (which was, apparently, devised by the LA Sheriff for "safety reasons"). So, for the next 23 days Paris Hilton will be known as, and only referred to on this blog as Inmate #9818783.

So ... let's try to take things in order as they occurred yesterday. Inmate #9818783 got herself all dolled up to make one last public appearance at the 2007 MTV Movie Awards which were taped live here in LA at the Gibson Amphitheater at Universal City. Little did we know that this would be Inmate #9818783's big exit from her home on her way to start serving her 23 day jail sentence:


Photo credit: Splash News

9818783 was all smiles, stopping to pose for photos and to sign autographs, showing no signs that she was planning to turn herself in to Police later on in the evening. [Source]

Once Inmate #9818783 arrived at the MTV Movie Awards she prolly thought she'd get to enjoy a fun time at an awards show as her last hurrah before jail ... little did she know that she would become the butt of an awesome opening monologue joke by host Sarah Silverman (she was also the butt of a Dane Cook joke but it was so lame it's not even worth mentioning). Sarah cracked a joke about Paris receiving special treatment in jail by getting penis shaped bars on her cell ... the cameras, of course, cut to Inmate #9818783 to get her reaction:


Yeah, she did not look pleased at all. To be quite honest, I actually felt really bad for her the first time I watched this video. But I've watched it a few subsequent times and that feeling went away. Click HERE to watch Sarah do her joke and Inmate #9818783 give her reaction. [Source]

At some point after 9818783 had her last real meal (which she enjoyed in the green room at the awards show), she picked up her mother and her sister and made the long drive to correctional facility to turn herself in. Even tho the attempt was made to slip by the cameras, TMZ was there to catch it all on film:


TMZ was there when Paris Hilton turned herself in to Sheriff's authorities Sunday night. It didn't go down at the jail. Paris' mega-lawyer, Richard Hutton, picked her up at her parents' house at 10:30 PM. Hilton, Hutton, mom Kathy and sister Nicky then drove to the Men's Central Jail in downtown Los Angeles -- commonly referred to as the Twin Towers -- where Paris officially surrendered to the L.A. County Sheriff to begin her 23-day sentence. The Sheriff devised the plan of surrendering miles away from the actual site where Paris will be doing time because the crush of paparazzi at the jail created a potential safety hazard. Paris was then driven to the jail in Lynwood, where she is now serving her sentence. I don't care how slowly they drove that SUV, I'm sure they arrived at their destination way too quickly for Inmate #9818783's liking. [Source]

It turns out that things inside the big-house won't go down exactly like we were led to believe. The woman who was chosen to be Inmate #9818783's cellmate will no longer be required for her services. Inmate #9818783 will spend the large majority of her time completely by herself ... with only one hour per day to shower, phone her peeps and watch TV. Here is the booking mugshot for Inmate #9818783:


Law enforcement officials tell TMZ the plans for Paris have changed. Although they had pre-screened a woman who was designated her cell mate, for the time being Hilton will be in solitary 23 out of 24 hours every day. The one hour that she's out, she's not really out. Hilton will be allowed to shower, use a phone and watch TV in a small pod adjacent to her cell. Sounds pretty posh to me ... well, as far as jail goes. Well ... maybe not so posh, she will be forced to have her extensions taken out for the duration of her stay. Oh the Horror! Additionally, Inmate #9818783 has released a statement by way of her attorney:

"I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation. During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realize I made some mistakes. This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make. I want to thank my family, friends and fans for their continued support. Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence."

And that, folks, is that. #9818783 is securely locked away for the next few weeks and all that remains is the speculation about what is going on with her at any given moment ... and then the day when she gets released back into society. [Source]

Has she finally learned her lesson?


That remains to be seen ... but at least now she has a lot of time to think about everything that has happened to her. [Source]

Here is Inmate #9818783's booking information which is freely available at the Los Angeles County Sheriff Department's official website:


Uh, since when does Inmate #9818783 have green eyes? This is news to me. Huh ... anyways, if you're interested in becoming prison pen pals with Miss Inmate #9818783 and you want to send her a little note of encouragement or support you can write to her here:

Paris Hilton, #9818783
PO BOX 86164
Terminal Annex
Los Angeles, CA 90086-0164


And don't forget to say hello for me! [Source]

Don't feel like writing a letter to Inmate #9818783, then how about playing a fun online game with her?


Trust me, it's harder than it looks. Additionally, you can read Inmate #9818783's prison diary online HERE ;) How fun is today? [Source]

OH ... one more thing before we move on. Law enforcement officials released Inmate #9818783's booking photo shortly after she surrendered and was processed ... except they initially released the wrong photo. You may recall that we never got to see the original mugshot from when Inmate #9818783 was originally arrested for drunk driving back in September 2006 ... but thanks to a wee mistake this morning, we finally get to check it out:


Look at that smirk (and that shiny nose, EEK!) ... I bet the furthest thing in Inmate #9818783's tiny little brain was the thought that she'd ever be forced to go to jail to actually pay for her crimes. I'm sure she never thought this day would come ... Shoot, I never thought this day would come. It *must* be nice and chilly in Hell today. [Source]

OKAY ... WE'RE MOVING ON ... there were other people at the 2007 MTV Movie Transformers Awards yesterday (the "commercial-free" pre-show was a nice try except it was really just a big commercial for the Transformers movie) and here are a few of them on the show's red carpet (which was actually pink):


Photo credit: Wireimage

The boys looked hot (even John Krasinski in that overly emo cardigan) and the ladies looked lovely ... tho Mandy Moore looked less than thrilled to be posing for pics. Megan Fox, who stars in the new Transformers movie, looked amazing ... but I'm perplexed by the tattoo on her back. I believe it reads, "We will all laugh at gilled butterflies". Um, what? UPDATE: Pink reader Rachel clues me in that the quote is actually, "We will all laugh at gilded butterflies" which is from Shakespear's King Lear. [Source]

The show itself was kinda entertaining. I mean, as far as awards shows go you know that MTV really does their best to try and keep things fun. Here are some pics from the show itself:


Photo credit: Wireimage

Sarah Silverman did an amazing job as host. It must be said, she was really pretty funny ... I could tell she wrote most of her own jokes because, I actually laughed (I can't believe that she called Lindsay Lohan a "rude little pig"). The kissing bit between Sacha Baron Cohen and Will Ferrell went on for a bit too long but watching men kiss on national TV is always a good time. Was it just me or did Jack Nicholson seem really, really intoxicated as he gave his acceptance speech (making sure to thank the troops in Iraq) at the start of the show? The musical performances by both Rihanna (featuring Jay-Z) and Amy Winehouse were totally on point (tho you could hear the nervousness in Rihanna's voice ... you could tell she was singing live tho). I'm so glad that Gerard Butler won an award ... I like looking at him and hearing him speak ... and looking at him. Amanda Bynes was just way too orange. [Source]

Victoria Beckham, who was slated to present an award, actually flew in from the UK just to appear on the awards show ... and then she uttered only about 5 words and that was it:


Photo credit: Big Pictures & Wireimage

I think the most interesting thing she did all night was wear the same shoes as Cameron Diaz. But, overall, I think that this years Movie Awards were really fun ... and they will always be remembered as the last party Inmate #9818783 attended before going to the slammer. Now that's hot. Want more MTV Movie Awards goodness ... head on over to LAist.com, who attended this year's awards show, and read their liveblogging entry HERE. [Source, Source]

There are other things going on today ... let's take a look. Britney Spears (who got bumped from the top spot on the blog today due to all the delish incarceration news) spent some more time at the beach this weekend. Here are pictures of Brit Brit proudly showing off her biz:


Photo credit: Big Pictures

Okay ... I love her and all but sometimes ... it's hard. I don't mind all the fleshiness because I know she is currently undergoing renovations but I just can't deal with her ratty-looking extensions. I know I rag on her for wearing hats and scarves and stuff but ... now that I see what she's covering up, I think I prefer her in hats and scarves. LOL ... she looks like a Spring Breaker on holiday in the Bahamas with those nasty braids. [Source]

For some reason, the National Enquirer is under the impression that Nicole Richie is pregs with Joel Madden's baby ... and Celebrity Babylon claims to have an inside source who claims that Nicole is, indeed, pregs ... but I just don't buy it. Here are a couple pics of Nicole who went out for a jog on Runyon Canyon yesterday afternoon sporting what is supposed to be a baby bump:


Photo credit: Celebrity Babylon

Yeah, I still don't buy it. [Source]

The Brangelina brood is all together again after spending a few days apart due to Brad Pitt's filming commitments in Montreal, Canada. Here are pictures of Brad and Angelina Jolie carrying their smallest children Zahara, Pax Thien and Shiloh Nouvel aboard a private plane in Prague bound for destinations unknown:


Photo credit: INFdaily

And lest you think that they left Maddox behind, never fear ... the eldest Jolie-Pitt boarded the plane all by his self. It looks like Brangelina are going to have to hold off before they adopt any more children ... they're already running out of arms. [Source]

Sophia Loren thrilled assaulted the crowds at the Italian Australian Film Festival which is taking place in Sydney, Australia earlier this week by letting her nips come out for a quick hello:


Photo credit: INFdaily

OY! Here's hoping Ms. Loren doesn't jump aboard that other Hollywood "It" Girl bandwagon that involves no panties and open legs. If you are so inclined, you can click HERE to see the uncensored version of this pic. [Source]

Tori Amos brought her American Doll Posse World Tour to Amsterdam yesterday and brought along her ADP character Pip to open the show. Here are a few pics of Tori (red hair) and Pip (black hair) on stage performing:


Photo credit: Wireimage

I am still doing my very best to keep from reading and seeing too much about this tour before I get to see it with my own eyes later on this year. But, if you want more info on this Amsterdam show, you can get all the deets HERE at Undented. [Source]

And finally, Angelina Jolie is featured in the July issue of Esquire magazine:


Yeah, she looks pretty good in satin sheet. Hot. [Source]

One more thing, much congrats and love goes out to my dear Gillian who is celebrating her new engagement today! I am absolutely thrilled for you and wish you much love, much happiness and a long and happy married life! XOXOXO

Les News:
Yesterday, Sarah, Adriana and I had big plans to haul our cookies to the beach so that we could soak up some sun and get some color in our cheeks ... after a bit of a late start (due to all the alcohol consumed on the ladies' parts) we finally made our way down to Laguna Beach ... only to be met with grey, overcast clouds. Boo. But, we made the most of our beachtime together ... and managed to snap about 5,000 photos:


One of the main reasons we went down to Laguna was so that we could dine at Javier's Cantina for the best Mexican/seafood on EARTH. Lord, the food was so amazing ... it was deffo worth the trip down. This weekend with Sarah in town has been so much fun. For as short as it was, we felt like we really got to do a lot. She is in the bathroom getting ready for her plane ride home right now as I type this ... I'm gonna miss her when she leaves.

I hope y'all have a great Monday ... surely, you'll have a better Monday than Inmate #9818783 will have and that has to count for something, right? And I guess that is all ... I'm out.