So, let me tell you how I spent the night. I managed to catch the very beginning of Batman & Robin and decided to watch it in full (for, like, the umpteenth-millionth time). Oh, god, where do I begin? I don't think that I will ever be able to forgive Joel Schumacher for what he did to the Batman franchise. He is responsible for turning a very cool superhero into a laughable, ridiculous mess. I did like Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy but she is the only character that I liked. George Clooney (Batman), Chris O'Donnell (Robin), Alicia Silverstone (Batgirl) and, the now California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger (Mr. Freeze) are just horrid in this movie. Ahhnold can't even speak English properly in this film! The story is so ridiculously stupid that I can't even hardly stand it. When Batman whips out the BatCreditCard I just want to cry because it's so stupid. The lines are the worst of any movie I think I've ever seen. I'm not even going to mention how horrible the puns are! There is such an oversaturation of color and a massive orgy of laser lights ... sheesh, at times it's even too much for me and I usually love that shizz! It is just so disappointing how the franchise ended.
I cannot believe the liberties they took with the Batman mythos. Barbara Gordon (Batgirl) is supposed to be Comissioner Gordon's daughter. In this movie they made her Alfred's niece. They reduced Bane, one of the most vicious villains that Batman has ever faced (the villain responsible for almost killing Batman in the comics) to a bumbling sidekick for Poison Ivy. It almost pisses me off!!
Surprisingly, there are a few things that I do like about the movie. I mean, any Batman movie is going to appeal to me because I am such a huge fan. I love the make-up used in the film (both Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy look amazing) and unlike most, I really like the costumes that everyone wears.
I also love the way they made Gotham City look. The architecture is really, really cool. I love how the city is set so high (i.e. the streets are miles above ground on high bridges). The soundtrack is pretty cool too. When the Moloko song Fun For Me starts playing, well, I have to admit that I loved it.
The movie was such a big deal when it was released that they were able to cast pretty big celebrities in bit parts (supermodel Vendela as Nora Fries, Elle MacPhearson as Bruce Wayne's girlfriend and Vivica A. Fox as a Mr. Freeze bimbo). I remember that the last movie that I saw while I was living in Oklahoma (in May 1997) was showing in a theater that had already started to advertise Batman & Robin (which wasn't released until June 1997) with a huge canvas and nylon banner that was hung low and near the theater my movie was showing in. I'm not kidding, it was a huge banner. Yeah, I pulled it off the wall (cutting the ropes that it was hanging by) and bunched it into a ball and took it with me in the theater. Fortunately, it was a late movie and the theater was very empty ... no one noticed. Right before the movie was totally over, I exited out the Exit door in the theater and took my banner home with me. It is still at my parent's house. I might have to bring it home some day.
But, no matter what -- I will check out every single Batman movie they will ever make.
Fortunately, the night won't be a total wash. I just found out that after Batman & Robin finishes they are going to show Batman (1989). So, I'm going to wrap this up and go watch it
Now, this movie got Batman right! Michael Keaton as Batman, Jack Nicholson as the Joker (my all-time favorite comic villain ever -- barnone), a gloomy & lightless Gotham, all original songs by Prince and Vicki Vale!!! Everybody do the Batdance ... I'm out.